collective manager: “hey there lil’ lady, how it be?”

m: “good thanks.”

cm: “so you come here a lot?”

m: “bout’ once a week.”

cm: “hey, listen do you needz a job?”

m: “uuuhhhmmmm, i have a job, but thanks anyway?”

cm: “now, now you looks like a lady who like da’ finah’ thangs in life, now.”

m: “i’m happy here at the 99, you have a nice evening.”

cm: “listen, i’m a bidness entrepreneur and i run me a lil’ collective of fine girls like yo’sef. now what they do is they go keep company to older gents who is lonely, but know how to treat pretty lil’ thangs like you.”

m: “ dude, how pretty and little can your girls be, have you looked around?  we’re at the 99! is this where you recruit? don’t you have like an agency or anything like that? where’s your business card?”

cm: “now, now lil’ darlin’ i’m jus’ trying to hep’ you out. you would sho’ look good in diamonds and Channel and ermines and shit like that. don’t you like that? “

m: “i can get that at Ross, right?”

cm: “uuhhh no, but i can get it fo’ you. you just gotta meet my friends ova’ up in K town on Saturday night. can i count you in? you won’t be sorry baby girl, i guarantee youz’ make a huned’ dollahz!”

m: “ermines huh? the English House of Lords wear ermines and the academics at Oxford too. there’s a famous painting, but i can’t remember the name of it. interesting. wait, did you say a hundred dollars? per hour?!”

cm: “guuurrlll, what the hell iz you talkin’ bout’? do you wan’ da job or what?!”

m: “what is the alternative? do you offer health insurance and 401K?”

cm: “man!! you is as crazy as all hell! man! iz you a cop!?”

m: “oh no sir. i’m just exploring my alternatives and financial portfolio options.”

cm: “God a’ mercy on you!” (walks away quickly from m’s car).