
doin my part kinda


i am here on Hope street in a liquor store its open because its essential outside is a sickness it’s been here all of my life remember when i was young and fearless and unattached now i’ve fallen in love with life and have everything to lose my priorities have changed so bloody much i ran myself into the ground now i’m dying to break free dear postcard with the ultra blue ocean pearly shore electric green palm trees and skinny bikini girl with exaggerated tits remember when i was young and my freedom was a tether to a wild wild road now reluctantly i am here masked ten miles from my home gloved lying to the cashier about needing sanitizer and candy bars fiji water and a box of cheap cigars for my diabetic neighbor the sickness deep in my blood hypnotically stares at the bottles in the case here at the crossroads again postcard i write on you a note for help living one day at a time has become a slippery hell
their bodies as tired as my mind are a conglomerate of recycler rim shop churches and everything is gated and stifled as the spirit of the child i’m looking for chain link fences rent free beautification of Western Avenue top $ cash paid open we buy metal Medicare Part D appears almost as much as “Jesus Saves” i’m in on all of these treasures that no one takes the time to look at i still cannot find my girl i always stop at 13 seconds i ask
Iglesia cristiana el remanente fiel testimonial Cathedral and Christian school Church of God in Christ iglesia pentecostés primer amor next to the color TV by RCA motel that is open 24 hours Sermon on the Mount Bronco motel on the corner of Western and 55th United African church marked up by the 55 kids crew and all the horny husbands whose wives are left alone demand a price menu for my most exquisite lipsnight flows cold nerves exploded at the tips Chinese laundry out to dry the sky the stars turn off one by one and birds are sinking under mud blue gods of the century turn west and all along the mountain lightning stops to cry the purple mud dies on the day of war maroon worms climb up no legions loom and the resurrection is postponed because of my ignorance
that is cast over the horizon of sanity
and the expectations of the rules
these chains are only invisible
and a prayer will break them through
the secret in plain view
in front of those scared eyes
the more decent we become
the harder they will come
truth continues to stay stuck
3000 years ago
evolution in an isotope
is not the way i go
pine table size 3 wine toned Mary Jane’s from Roebucks and Sears
chair aged and rubbed faded in all the places Sherlock Holmes would investigate
faded Levi jeans holed at the knees fixed with a Wonder Woman patch
Tupperware plate off beat psychedelic green and she sipped her hootch from fine bone China
blue eyes to me liver and onions gold chains on her cleavage and one scrambled egg on her rye toast and butter
Starsky and Hutch were fixin’ to start and those damned brussel sprouts between me and the screen
then the neighbor comes by and they both lose their minds over some CBS scandal
now is my chance i run to the trash flip up the flap and in goes the midget cabbage
and i watched my whole show practiced the Huggy Bear victory stroll while celebrating my four year old courage

stolen from my mom
the book filled with endless love
with me forever
nobody has sung me to sleep
i think as the green chile frozen burrito thaws in the 7-11 microwave ring
while the four minutes buzz by i stand in a line to pour French coffee in a 99 cent styrofoam cup emblazoned green and orange
7 sugar cubes black steam rising like a genie woodsy cinnamon that melds with the patchouli on my skin
the oven dings me to attention
the burgundy corn rowed attendant girl smacks gum like cud while stirring safety orange colored cheese ooze in the sweaty container her name tag reads Patricia
across Broadway is the farmers market Feng Shuied on 4th over here honey the flowers over there by the old bank bookstore apples and grapes by the old merchants den
i think i’ll get some lilly blossoms
my brain begins to hum something by the Smith’s outloud
there is a millstone round my neck today
the pavement wet with northern rain and i like it’s sepia tinge
the thud sound of pea green goop hitting the ground alerts me
burrito down i wrap what’s left for dinner on Tuesday
the coffee lasts for as long as it takes me to cross the empty street
i slip on my mask one loop at a time behind my hair and ears
somebody’s hipster husband smiles at me
in a way the Crystal Healer wife might not have liked unless they both are swingers
the blue tooth hums blink three consecutive times and AC/DC attacks me
the final riff flows through my rickety bones and for the next selection i settle on Tchaikovsky
the songs that birds sing sweet and piercing in my heart
lay me to rest in some other part
of Your universe so dark
where the songs that birds sing
sweet and piercing like Your voice
lay me to rest in Your universe
with those songs that birds sing
i too will be free soul pure
sweet and piercing songbird
resting in Your universe at last
bury me standing feet
rooted nowhere sleep eludes
me walking forever before
Cain’s sin gave rise
to grief that flows
my blood in history
am i not a
star child too nomad
in the mystery of
God like child in
birth to surf the
skies where serpents lay
in slumber this universe
was made for multiple
stars to shine at
smiles so bright that
return the favor blindly
he
an iris
me an iris
too
my petals
black like opal
he
a soul
of mother pearl
me
my mouth
is opened wide
he
his iris
ready to strike
the
mystery inside
my nectar tunnels
moon
hangs low
Orion looks away
iris
i still
bloom in silence
he
an iris
too our lives
are
now divided
sun lit cold