the other stars

at night with the party of stars
the stars in the sky i mean

i sit in quiet tender happiness
on the summer eve sidewalk of Sunset and Vine

my eyes scan the shoes
some old some new
there is history in the step
some style some regrets

at night when traffic dies
buses groan and open their doors
warm freon stink hisses
no one exits they just sit

my hands play
with blue Bic pens and loose sheets
their surface wrinkled tears
happiness of simple truths recorded there

at dawn barley curtains fall
the stars have took their bows
coffee’s bitter cocoa moan
stirs my knees and center

in the newness of the old city yawn
where i died lived and was born
onto this place where my soul has soaked in this world is my happiness

defectors of defeat

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.
–A Farewell to Arms (1929)

i not ever one to stay settled
not in a chair nor a desk or a flipped car in the middle of the highway

i not ever one to cry fold up or whimper after the first punch slap or ranting curse

gables decisions transfers petitions bus stops late nights running away to dark alleys

broken arms scraped face bloody nose bruised halo twisted wing midnight summer clouds intrigued

books parks veterans of various fights  teachers preachers women brothers fractured holy lives

war with peace along the edge we’re marched too soon where time has earned the essence of our hands yet not the moxie of the spirit

invitation

soft pink petals
wooden table top
lay there limp
looking up silently
at spinning fans
dried tired knuckles
on sore thighs
immobile in exhaustion
thinking there quietly
about roses aging
spirit’s sweet scents
mingling with walls
a memory landscape
then passing birds
bless the skies
curtains stay open

murky

did not from the man i come
the rib to be exact
and when i die
you’ll lay me to rest
like broken asphalt
why is there only reverence
when in my place i stay
across this she world
from hut to home
but when i dare to steer
a clippership and wear that big hat
even my mother hits back
we cant free the goddesses
with the same keys
used to lock up their minds

love songs

those songs sweet piano notes the ones sung by Adele hurt the most as they remind me of what dad did to mom

those words from boisterous guys showing off on bended knee their devotion perfection and digits of currency in worship of me will someday soon turn lethal

those men with delusions of being the righteous new species from Adam came and it won’t change that they are internally afraid of what their daddy did to their momma

from time unknown we flow and go turning around in circles a pull a push in darkness beams and the light sometimes is not that clear

even tears give up before our heart when we slip into children playing dress up me mommy’s shoes you daddy’s boots the familiarity of violence

time does not heal no matter how much it says in the public service announcement the warning signs the stacking cans of fire water rage combustion on music notes the peaceful hoax of love everlasting

urban meadow blues

meadows i see on the packages in the lady business aisle of my regular supermarket

when i was young and high living the downtown life meadows were tucked twixt the words of John Fante

on crowded freeways i imagine meadows green with polka dot flowers instead of beer bottles and trash

i too have stood on meadows ignoring reality when news and accounts have been grim

on the meadows of my mind while i stand in line waiting for my time with the speed ticket money taker i swear i have been a Hopi princess

meadows in the park constructed from repurposed everything that underserves the very point of wild God created freeform and bear in mind your parking meter too

that ruthless city

if a trail could be found to his beating heart it would be through his ears

the sounds of giant groaning flares flying moons shooting stars music of the cosmos

my voice is not a song it merely croaks and moans steeped in manly brick and mortar

inside the blinding glare of chiming heavenly beings are lively rays displaying all

down to his change cup inside the saxophone case on the shadow washed asphalt somewhere in that ruthless city

when women pray

it happens any time

in any place

around the universe

and even under ground

where they bury us

or in jars

where our chemical composition

lays just there in a powder

when women pray

they are really talking

across wet streets

between cars

right on the division line

of light and dark

they really get into it

a rhythm only she angels can hear

the he angels

they’re pictures on Valentines

sent to Hank Bukowski

when women pray

they think of everything

dirty diapers pregnancy tests

pubic hair the national crime rates

they think of their breasts

the bruises by their mate

the love of a mother

the words not really carefully thought through

but the universe gets the gist

cars come and go

rush hour in the heart

fear and joy at being alive

when women pray

music dances off their tongues

penetrating embankments

concrete or otherwise

the lilts and little valleys

in their vocal chords

algorithms to the stars

when i pray

i pray for a strength like theirs

dislocated ribs

there are bright yellow red hearted blossoms waving at the cars
trees screaming with a hundred demanding little birds cleansers of the earth after the war
telephone wires obselete and dead
wireless carriers facilitate what’s next
skies gloomy skin tanning albeit
here in my new home away
from the sores of tough living
my body moves more
still the pain gets stronger
wars can still reach me
the curse of gab from shallow tongues
remind me that i’m not enough
and that my fat rolls and brittle hair
are cause for alarm
not that our Mother is burning
i too am fragile to not cry
too salty
to not have the strength to soldier on
i’ve made an executive decision
today i’ll have no viewpoint
instead i will experiment with hummingbird nectar
and hope that they will come and partake
their wings without rest
their bodies steady in the air
thoughts scurry in my head
and the heart
hasn’t found her resting place
still lingers there
between dislocated ribs
for all times sake

why have we forsaken we

when in living off the twilight

inside the erosion of my mind

sometimes i snap sharply from my American

airconditioned nightmare

the balance of me

realizing my internet speed

was a negative impact

on some email or another

the twilight lit up

soon enough when heavy fueled Fedex trucks

delivered my pampered cats’ designer litter

the pipeline took by cyber rooks

named after a Stan Lee caricature

tired from tapping orders and griping

of how the strain in my eyes

wont let me binge watch

zombies and madonnas later tonight

when living in the hologram of prescriptive mindfulness

a new normal cast upon my head

no longer should i be disturbed

and once the tiny caffeine shots

have done their job

all major asshole media cocks

begrudgingly agree

that the Arabs are bombing the Jews again

slapping of wrists from the lips in the oval coffin

my spirit starts to sit upon my couch

the people of my mother

the people of my neighbors

the people who bother no one

in their daily toil to survive

to see their little ones grow

my attention pulled out

looking out the front door

quasi worried about the power grid

the electrical giggles sprouting

from kindergarten kiddos

sadden my heart

why have we forsaken we