with warm scarlet tears
she sits sometimes she glances
rosebuds slowly yawn
we’ve always been
how much more time
frenesi
my eyes held captive by the metamorphosis of the Cecil a born again building with the stench of human history between its concrete bones no longer a child not yet at the biological end the choices i’ve made dumbfound the soul but if viewed through a lens in the night that i’m alive is sheer bewilderment in the hustle of her of him of them i silently record fragments of life that are not my own if i do it long enough my old memories will be pushed out a tender girl walking her pink bellied pug is a better replacement for watching the forensics team rip open the rape kit or a child chasing a moth is better than being reminded of the day your mother died or when lovers kiss by the stop light is better than when the needle broke in the arm then my pupils chose to focus on a single mossy brick Artie in the 40’s swinging clarinets booze loosed women and ripoff con men coca cola lollipops the book says a time to laugh or cry to live or die the last is nonnegotiable
in your eyes
dew sets on single flowers to brew a scent that will waken a sweet child like chaos in your eyes
just like our simultaneous pleasure propelled from the steepness of our throats
so do your eyes open like the flower to cast a honeyed gray net upon my will
while on your arms i walk alone afraid of wanting more of the white hot thrusts into my sinning soul
i have no shame or guilt or debt i give myself completely let your fingers lead me to the green mile of your eyes
let me serve as your last meal before you move on to the next
and when you’re done i’ll lick you clean i’m ready to be tossed unto the dying wind gambling that this time the pain will end forever
to miss
my ears have heard
words and utterances
some warm some cold sharp void of life
i fill a dropper full of lies and squeeze them in my eyes
but they roll out eventually
the heart can’t be made a fool even if it’s mine
i haunt the streets and alley ways i pick at crates and smoke away the vision of a miserable creature
whose love just ran away and left her with no direction
in my nightmare the flying carpets are ubiquitous and free
the torment starts when you stop by to tell me about my sorrows
the roses pluck at their own thorns as if they know i won’t come back tomorrow
a feather
back in the day of orange koolaid and Brady Bunch dreams candy cotton and carburetors diamonds pills and fancy ladies the news and no direct tomorrow TV dinners multiplex sorrows mop top slinky singer crooned in silky voice to the effect of time having no patience but i don’t blame those frigid tocking ticker arms because i’m a slow floating feather from a city bird molting from the Eiffel Tower statue sitting on any trinket shelf on Hollywood boulevard and through the fibers of the strain i struggle float away slowly in a deafening rage tickling the balls of all those who pose to be the royal peacock
doulas
sand dunes gray breathing quietly the wind caresses smiles on them like new born babies
those who witnessed the sunrise shiver slightly humming and blessing the horizon their hands usher a new voice
mothers with strong courageous hearts the most sacred foundation for the tiny roots to rise
washing off the stubborn stains of ignorance and calcified time
paving plowing and clearing paths where God and water there do clash and angels become mothers
late at night (b)
Sunday with Hank
pain without reason you said i understood immediately but Hank aren’t we born into this situation
forever we seek to understand is pain the ultimate secret knowledge Hank you’re there with Buddha is that what he found
women understand but in the end we are all human what’s between our legs is incidental
i’ve stood on city sidewalks on the streets you’ve lived on and everything is the same the rat race is quiet in most places
i love watching the angels downtown we are a rainbow of gray brown and black
some in the name of ethics money and pretense call it trauma or grieving or processing events
to be beat raped tortured sodomized insulted belittled ignored and cast aside drugged whipped lied to and left to die some of us in shame and lies in the most dangerous of nuclear families
Hank you’ve been away from me remember DeLongpre i used to stay there too and how many more places we have been it’s been so very long
your thoughts and absolute surrender to the madness of our lives you painted beauty in it’s natural form although it wasn’t what they thought
hey baby since you’re up there in the clouds can you ask the Main Man for me when you aren’t too busy now
if the reason for our mortal pain is so we will seek Him out
words less spoken 