a vesper

September 24, 2019September 23, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 4 Comments

sun and moon greet and kiss

either side of their cosmic cheeks

today i don’t walk among the people

for romance style gain or art

it took time much of it

even heavy parallels to this universe

of squalor in carnival color

today i’ve come down deep

into the cracks in everything

so said Leonard

i small as i am look inside

the glass now empty the pipes

rigs foils all of it wasted away

in an instant of solemn mystic revolution

soft and quiet in the rancid room

on the corner of this street

sons of man queens and goddess

the stars are coming out

from the ancient rubble

from whence angels and demons fall

to look at me not my disease

i grotesquely beautiful in triumph

i’m over me released myself per se

to the right the ruins of the past

to the left the fragile bridge i’ll tread

across to take upon my care

the tender new i

made even by the equinox of life

shards

September 23, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment

rain and Halloween 14 lost boygirl

LA let’s play East H is the oyster

let’s go nowhere what have i got to lose

streaks of time fingers and others touching

what was part of a dowry gone poisoned

my turn to burn the cancer of this pain

rage shame weakness and hate

the mark of incomprehensible

where did it go wrong

i’ll say it plain

they took my innocence

my sense of self

spirit and mind

and you expect me to shut up

the weed is grown

and life takes course

confusion sets the stage

and the ocean swallowed me whole

shoreline

September 22, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

the nutty wafts of kelp breeze

wrap around my body

looking at the waves they crash

the little crabs shake

their tiny pinchers at them

they all just laugh

their foamy locks behind them

my fingers remind me

that i’m digging in the sand

i smile on my left side

two young lilac gulls screech

over some meaty mussels

my attention zooms in at the ferris wheel

closing my eyes

subtle waves of nauseous panic come

but you’re gone

your arms not there to hold me

your lips can not whisper

your hungry desires in my ear

your wandering finger tips caressing

the nipples on my breasts

as i whispered i want you

we both laughed

the piercings in your lips

they caught my hair

we clasped tattooed hands

the deepness in your voice

only for me

subtle wind moans

only to be cut by youthful laughter

holding my knees

those demons prick at me

your notes didn’t answer my questions

sitting this one out

September 22, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

magic castles border the alley way please lie down and snort the day and the she night will fall upon us yellows oranges whites and grays we see it going to school every day no amount of hatred or political correctness can help the souls astray talk at me tell me what my people did wrong correct me embrace my essence in your doctrine of the truth do you think i bowed to baal when the spirit lifted us higher inclusiveness is nothing new other than the pillar of what to stand for the new language proposal falls like lead into the lakes of empty hearts we know what forked tongues look like my mothers’ shed blood and spirit for the words embedded in my throat and the thoughts of freedom incubated in my mind in the name of equality for all translated into only yours i will not yield my inheritance blindly

after life

September 21, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

lost

today

open sun

smiles a plenty

the kids all playing

innocence not taken

i breathe in the warm feeling

the ducks come near me for some bread

sweet genuine brown eyes smile at me

what does one do when you have won the war

father’s abstract

September 20, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 10 Comments

i’m dreaming i’m a dude with kickstand and all the equipment i’m not bad looking kind of like Easy Rider Billy hmmm funny how i walk to the whiskey even in my dreams it’s just a dream right oh there’s a chick hmmm she’s mouthy i don’t care for that my middle tingles toughens up a little warmer than before that brunette is quiet her cigarette is sexy what do i do my jeans are super tight i need to wrap my arms around her waist another whiskey man two children who are they hmmm i’m a father the photo says why do i feel like crying shit the guys at the end of the bar will think i’m a pussy oh my God am i really asleep yeah man i’ll take a hit where you from brother Bakersfield i think what brings you into town running from a rap is that your machine outside i suppose it is what year is it brother 1976 my heart it beats fast and heavy the sting of speed is gone a man is a man but inside there’s something wrong fuck no time for that i gotta make the trip yet still i have the nagging weight of Lucy and the kids