middle c

August 1, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

when the dirt on my shoes

starts to click the pavement

i go to the park

pray to the squirrels

bow to the trashcan

gambling that at the bottom

will be a half eaten idea

that i can sell

when the anger in my soul

starts to pound out my heart

i go to that tent

beg to the man

bow to the pipe

give away the music in my bones

for a hope that i will stop the pain

when there is a nowhere and no rainbow

and my shadow trades places with me

i go in my head

get lost in the wave

of no way out symphonies

so i turn in for the day

to welcome in the tepid night

and wait for that clicking to begin

red eagles on Matthias’ arms

July 31, 2019July 31, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 12 Comments

she stands in the night

quiet in the day swaddling my thoughts

through her windows that have seen moons

peeked at by La Baker and the dust bowl troops

the starlight beaming on my smoke rings

and the ancient flower wall cover

comes alive again crawling with suspicions

Perry Como and at times Lead Belly

fill my ears until they bloom

so coursing through my veins

the bewitching compounds of soul kill

silver on the mirror fades away

and in tandem we float away together

the me on the chair mustang hair gray

the me in the glass chipping off her hours

before my lids close

the pupils pin catch a brown fluffy moth

clutching with sticky little feet

to rusty rain gutters that hang

to her bricked flanks by grace and bliss

i hear the moth breathing in out in out

to the rhythm of surreal electric sweaty nights

but JESUS SAVES only twice

as Papa and i drink absinthe and champagne

restraining order blues

July 30, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

vicious gunfire you look older she said

i thought i’d never see you again

you look beautiful he said

coughing looking leftward

i’ve been here and there she said

roaming the streets counting the birds

magnolia trees sure bloom a lot he said

yeah their scent intoxicates me she said

can i get a cuddle he said

she smiles and looks westward

sliding hair behind her ears

your gray streak is bomb ass she said

my ex-wife likes it he said

i gotta go i’m late for church she said

balls! gimme something better than that he said

they both laughed out loud

biting her lips heart in her head

i wish i could kiss you she said

that was the past

the clove under her worn white converse

stuck to the sole and toes still wiggling

as the clouds formed from the south

he folds in his lips and gives her a smile

i wanted to be your husband he said

she lights up another

you were always so wild he said

i don’t like cages or negotiations she said

life is not like that he said

let me give you my number

she feels the droplets on her lashes first

honey don’t waste it she said

your time on me

i’m older and wiser

some truths i can see

i had to walk away for the sake of us both

looking at the lake he nods in agreement

have a nice life he gnarls as he scampers away

she holds her head higher after today

cicatriz de estrella

July 28, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 5 Comments

triste Celedonia

alma de ave

flor que deslumbra al sol

guardiana de tus dioses

tus remedios tu dolor

cuando llegaste a este mundo

tu alma marcada con cicatriz de estrellas

tener que dejar a tus valles ríos y montanas

tus lumbres tus plantas tus mañas

toda la magia heredara no te la puedes llevar

al cruzar al este mundo mecánico y vacio

todos tus retoños siguieron en fila

menos el más tierno bello y delicado

con el tiempo se marchito

los venenos extranjeros no aguanto

promesas antiguas rotas en ira

de que sería la más bella flor

en el altar de la diosa

Celedonia no hay caso en continuar

de regar el pequeño retoño con tus lagrimas

se fue no está ni hoy ni siempre

has tu vida con tus otros retoños

pero en tu alma herida

mantén en asilo al retoño perdido

cicatriz estrela

celedonia triste

alma de pássaro

flor que ofusca o sol

guardião dos seus deuses

seus remédios

sua dor

quando você veio para este mundo

sua alma marcada com cicatriz estrela

tem que deixar seus vales rios e montanhas

suas luzes suas plantas suas truques

toda a magia de herança que você não pode levar

ao atravessar este mundo mecânico e vazio

todos os seus otários permaneceram alinhados

menos o mais terno lindo e delicado

eventualmente definhado venenos estrangeiros eu não suporto

velhas promessas quebradas em raiva

Essa seria a flor mais bonita no altar da deusa

Celedonia não há nenhum caso em continuar

regar a pequena prole com suas lágrimas

ele deixou não é nem hoje nem sempre

faça sua vida com seus outros filhos

mas na sua alma ferida

manter o broto perdido no asilo

star tissue

sad Celedonia

bird soul

flower that dazzles the sun

guardian of your gods

your remedies your pain

when you came to this world

your soul marked with star tissue

you had to leave your valleys rivers and mountains

your lights your plants your tricks

all the inherited magic you can’t take when crossing

into this mechanical and empty world

all your saplings remained in line

least the most tender beautiful and delicate one

eventually it withered

it couldn’t stand those foreign poisons

old promises broken in anger

that she would be the most beautiful flower on the goddess altar

Celedonia there is no case

in continuing to water the little offspring with your tears

he left and won’t return neither today nor always

make your life with your other offspring

but in your wounded soul

keep the lost sapling in asylum

dama de fogo

July 27, 2019July 26, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 7 Comments

heart

under

your beating

laughing rhythm

burns the fire of

joy like no other at

watching the delft blue beyond

spread away in grandeur pageant

so the lady of the golden light

may dance for the ushers of Nirvana

seventhirteen

July 26, 2019July 26, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

and then the YHWH said I told

you so the vampires suck my mind clean but there is nothing that

the blue cannot repair when i get

the itch beyond repair the bones of rapture sidewalk dirty o hosanna mercy

my unto you split tongued brother me

thinks that behind all the churches Eve was framed pass the roller holy

shit i now see the world is

beautiful float float float among the brick the sign the pain the red

rider gives me a lift brother what

you say John it is i who is ugly pardon me sir i

am your mirror antiseptic dirty test don’t

beg in front of my cathedral go next door boy next door boy

next door the Buddhala idols clash with

the golden walls of mirage purpose Vegas you say i guess let’s get

away oh yes brothers yes the young

of evermore fodder for the dirty lust i must i trust i shall

be cleansed the flock will not be

taken Satan must not win but he would go play poker what you

say yes he can 7:13 ok roller

square dice baby pierce the bribes of common let the goat go to

the edge don’t let the innocent crumble

the crying game

July 25, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 16 Comments

i guess i have to go now

it was a pleasure meeting you if

only through letters and gigabytes

warm eyes warm smile and so much gratitude

i would have been honored to call you mother

Poetess you were a friend in spirit

you go join your loved ones and rest

write along the angels can you hear

the music of the celestial orbs

when i close my eyes shut tight

on a high rise rooftop in the fancy

part of my city i can hear it

and i dream of holding Shakespeare’s quill

perhaps Helene you can get his autograph for me

and send it on the feather of a swan

i guess i have to go now

and as you soar through the beautiful skies

you will now know all mystery

beautiful artist sweet kind friend

you leave us here where life is sometimes a game

we laugh or we cry but we are just human

be it not for souls full of light like you

who’ve touched my heart

one could say life would be intolerable

Thanatos

July 24, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 11 Comments

the gray shadows tiptoe and sob just outside my mind

whole of a part

July 23, 2019February 2, 2020 / mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

the rain has stopped and the sidewalks smell like dog piss and dying roses but i like the fragrance of my clove cigarette the stop lights change every two minutes nothing strange i can’t place my emotions today i feel pressured to rub elbows with the crowd across the street but i can’t i don’t feel well my body pains me and i want to cry taking a few steps away from the Tropical i breath in deep a few yards away is a pile of rubbish the bright colors make it look magical and comforting looking at the clock across the street it’s time for group and terror grips me around my ankles and chest again again again my head fills up inside with doubt and shame like a sinking vessel i try to be brave my hands shake and i grind my teeth nostrils flare and i anger myself enough to rip my feet out of their coma and move walking up the stairs i want to vomit but i trudge on through asphyxiating terror and tears welling up in my eyes i give up and i walk back down i run for a while and stop under the bridge and the rain begins and the sidewalks smell like earth and the stray dogs smell my fear and alert their masters they look on and drink from a bottle i plop on the curb and cry again confused and in pain