
rock bottom



the riverbed is cool the cranes have a yellowish belly but are beautiful nevertheless there are bleached soda cans but the logos hang strong against the California sun i sit by the reeds and watch the Chinese couple dig in the mud for long lost jewels they explain the husband is originally from Kansas she says i watch on until pitch black leathery little birds with mean diamond tinged eyes and beaks yellow like egg yolks begin to crowd around catching tadpoles one stands on a mossy Takis bag on the trail bicycles travel north to south and vice versa i only see helmets from my shivering reeds somewhere by the train yard an old trash truck backfires and the mean little black birds lift up into the sky like a flamenco dancer’s skirt my eyes pause at the rim of Dodger stadium and out of nowhere my mind drags me to the summers eating sticky juicy watermelon slices with my sister as the grown ups drank howled and listened to the game on an old radio from their army days and now i wonder if they died knowing that some day i would be leisurely sitting by these LA River reeds sipping fancy tea watching treasure hunters and fancy bicycle helmets wiz by and are the yellowing cranes the souls of our lost boys from the Hanoi Hilton

if
you
crack
my
heart
open
a
light
will
spring
out
mitosis
begins
in walking Kadapul petals fall to coat my steps
but really they’re just dirty leaves
as my daydreams waft into another direction
there is a certain equalizer in knowing
something comes this way and we all feel it
thoughts crumble upon the upward pounding of my feet
instinct against the grain
follow through with the maps in my head
stop and wave at a child and her puppy
another block and sun does shine
a mother talks a husband hounds
from his sitting family
‘what do you want to drink’
with coffee in left hand
passer bys ignore me
i blend into the posted centennial wall
the one by the bronze pig heads
and the bike racks rented by the Metro line
death mask faces reflected in mine
our wrinkles in the old and young
mock the bird silhouettes of our sky
our return in trying to make sense of our lives

you have now become
my comfort fire and scent
watching prayers float
post war America
with my morning coffee
bomb my soul
with bad news
bust economy
we sing the blues
through Alexa
post war America
which one is that
i against i
freedom of curiosity
5G napalmed
no longer exists
the smorgasbord of Adam’s tree
a swipe away from a child’s magic machine
post war America
infiltrated in my dreams
meander through my streets
come witness your children be


blue sky the roads in your eyes
we smoked
outside after your show
the happy ones laughed and drank
we looked
and sniffed the air filled with LA River scent
we parted
i stayed behind with my pagodas my cheap wine and that g g allin tshirt
pale sand cold and wet
thoughts deep into the night sky
give me my heart back
there are gopher holes on the sidewalk lawns
and every once in a while on Camilla street
the dirt will mound up next to a dandelion clump
someone lived here once and they still do
and they get visited on lattice top pie Sundays
on the front door a wreath for every celebration
and after morning coffee the garage door opens
name brand grass rose and cactus fertilizers
there are potholes and no sidewalks on Alameda
someone we don’t think of lives here and many more
the dirt around her ankles with pink thread strands
in matted hair with feathers
on Tuesday last her blanket drenched in rain
by her thigh a Starbucks cup to collect her pay
peeking into secret plastic bags
her slitted lips whisper at the fence
there are various hours of the day
where heads can’t be wrapped around anything
i admit i’m old fashioned broken indoctrinated
i’m too tired so very tired to fight a fight
good bad or indifferent
the landscape is not what we think it is
there are no alien or governmental microchips
only old Hollywood postcards in our brain