to just be alone
in my room
quiet
to just remember if
i have felt
loved
but just alone was
irrefutable proof that
i
had never been like
i was told
always
yet like a fool
i wept stained
silence

to just be alone
in my room
quiet
to just remember if
i have felt
loved
but just alone was
irrefutable proof that
i
had never been like
i was told
always
yet like a fool
i wept stained
silence
blizzard
of
thoughts
tapeworm
of
my
soul
what
now
take
steps
the
cave
awaits
sky weeping like widow
breeze cold dead man bones
the mirror of wilted flowers in my eye
piano and Adele my lips shut
breath held tight
her song did puncture
the pus filled soul in me
a mallet made of wings
swung across a street
it struck me in the heart
had that ambush ne’er happened
i would have never known
i was woman
for all the times
i had to take it like a man
to bow my head or look away
the lost glamorous stare
the sinking laugh
into the nothing
you said your mother would have liked me
but you never were in love
a convenience fuck i solely was
the sun is out she wears orange
freckles are her spots that cause chaos
upon the lines in the sand yesterday
the avocado trees gave without regret green
they were now the willows hang there
i just another organism single celled alone
yes the grass blades dewey with blood
from shedding flower cannibals deep among clouds
then the bus explodes its breaks the chosen
ones get off weighed down by sad
moons broken heart he a stoic far
beyond the grasp of the Neptune comic
if i could rest like lady lights prints atop the final resting bed i would be happy
my steps heavy like clouds and my dreams would not perturb me
my heart would sparkle like a star upon your God blue colored eyes
and my final kiss would caress your lips
my fingertips testing the waters
not all spirits were meant to be part of an entourage my hand says
this thing inside the mind has lost the path of where its from chromosomes in a situation room in outer space the Earth has crowded me
shit really he says the days of roses haunts me the road to stray is right outside are you sure about that picking sage and ask permission BB King i heard you holler Lucille my love
strings flap churning trains of thought wishes prayers gone amok by the howling wolf in a poet’s dream the sting of death follows me pluck one then two then three the boy won’t ever find me until he looks inside of him there i will beat pulsing with the flow of light
in a room 1942 there i stood walking slow lights aglow in silent agony
across my street i heard the feet of the walkers in the dark
my eyes they’d dart inside and out of those walls that did contain me
on my lips a hunger creeped that caused my throat to scream in silence
and in these halls the books do hold the history of everything
my arms they mourn that he is gone away from the safety of my hold
and in this home i live alone because outside there stands the lie that is the bane of my existence