granite vinyl floor
false wood boxes
mac and cheese coffee tins
purple bran cereal bowls
window facing south
just the five freeway
somewhere on the fridge
the phone buzzes Van
shimmies face to face
with those wild nights
cat food plate just a few
orange crumbs left
of the meal she ate
water boiling rolling steam
tea leaves lemon and green
zen light amongst the top of tree
tail wound around her paws
a few splintered thoughts
snug between my head
two souls listening
as the city birds chirp
for her and me
Aging
the haiku is unwritten
four in the morning
we sip smokey espressos
Joe Strummer and me
if i lived on Mars
sábado de manhã
dew drops shape
coffee slowly drips
from the hallway foot steps fall
Cortana plays old time country tunes
the gray cat her ocean green eyes watch me write words that will remain unspoken
when will will learn
it has been there since David’s death truth mercifully laid out
just and only human not chosen by anyone
born of lust that’s it nothing more than that
you’re lying to yourself aren’t you tired
no ornament jewel pedigree or endorsement can change that
if anything extraordinarily unimportant is what you are
get it through your head the fact is not out there it’s in front of your face
smile why don’t you talk in pretty words give the bestest blow jobs to him to him you are just a convenient commodity
with willing open legs spare me those perfectly rolled tears as you hope that someday he’ll take your hand instead
dull minded old girl your will is not your own buck up
it starts with one step then two and so forth out from the world into your house where your will waits for you to open your heart
and for once let it swallow you whole
roman candle
snow fire light thunder the hummingbird speaks
the peacocks have been here for all time just their beauty royal blue tears
heart desires stretching reaching for infinite nothing it seems
i stare the moon frowns at me a spotlight on my shame most gracious lady my eyes downturn
pain and mystery are beautiful holy at times demonic only at someone else’s pleasure
if He wept at His abandonment who then am i to complain
agonizing rainbow look me in the eyes roses die in mid December
that all of treasure’s soul lays bare the blood not on the spear this time but splattered all to see
that a twisted existence didn’t always weave and the past a few exceptions made
that leads me to this Maypole game where spirit and soul are sewn into the coat of many colors
to light the sky in flames of glory and my spark to soar on angels’ arms
for Hunter S
ojo de venado
for the most part
this Spring has been bland
the honeysuckle doesn’t woo me
the curiosity has dried from my heart i don’t read how i used to
Bad Brains or the good Reverend Horton Heat don’t sound to me like they used to way back when
there is an apostate strand of DNA to the right of my interior
the witching hour sticks at me like when Ladd Jr soccer kicked a wasps nest
i’m weak and can’t believe anymore my demons know they’re close to laughing last
my molars are ground down tear ducts parched i don’t have mercy for me
God i can’t feel You next to me how lost i feel tonight
there is a world that got away the war is done but i’m still trapped in this fucking battle
numb and cursed moss eyed doe i think i’ve plucked my own eye out
perhaps it’s just nature and my time has come to grow a beard
perhaps Noemi has gone away her angel’s don’t sit and play poker smoking big cigars like she said
it’s 4:37 am
no one wants me nor do they wish me anything any which way
click
strike
lit
gurgle
pour
clink
suck
blow
gulp
there’s an Aztec sunrise ceremony on channel 2
my belief in magic’s gone
dust bowl widow
wind warm cheeks
to the sun
dust is golden
trees so distant
tents quiver softly
epoch in her
eyes tell me
how life was
simpler in love
it’s cool old dude
were both off you know
drunk wild seed spreader
we met in combat always
we tried i still remember the porky pigs and bugs bunnies your fellow inmates drew when you sent letters from jail
twisted twisted twisted we became one old soul one fallen angel
it’s late now you a legend i’ll leave it there
it’s ok i’ve found others to take your place then they betrayed me too
ha! trust you say i have none not even for me
i needed a daddy maybe in another life i was something wicked and i deserved you or maybe it was the other way around
you hurt me a hurt so so deep that i don’t know how to let God in
but it’s ok i can walk talk think and take a bath i can breath laugh and when they least expect it maybe even love a little
i really needed you father when i went ape shit and almost took my life ok ok a few times
just like mom always the corrector
you tried and thanks for letting me be your father
if i was a guy i wouldn’t be a good husband but i love kids so maybe i’ve been my own dad at my age i’m still confused my time line shattered
it’s ok we did what we could i can drive monster trucks shoot guns and know basic boxing moves
thanks daddy that makes me cool
i’ve got to go now we hurt each other
your legacy was tough to carry and since then i have tweaked it a bit
maybe today i will be my own mirror
dear Hunter S i miss you
southern gentleman
dynamite soul maverick
the canon courts me
