i am mad at God

i am mad at God
for making me a fool
for using my stupidity
and evil deeds against
myself

i am mad at God
because He loves me
in a way that i can never
love all these creatures
around me

i am mad at God
for He laughs at me
in a loving way as He
kicks my ass when i
fuck up

i am mad at God
for keeping score
to a game that i will never
win

i am mad at God
and in spite of my
silly lip quivering
and monkey manipulations
He waits with hand
extended for me to
climb

eulogy

now that the death has come
and allowed me to live
without breathe in a realm
of incertitude

waiting in the radioactive

hallways for adults in

suits of meat and bone

with fire in their bullet

the demons are not real

and never were here

on this earth but the mountain

and the thunder and the darkness

and the cries and the gamble

and the dice and the skull

the switchblades of destiny

and the forsakenness continues

until the sky is clear

behold a dove does not return

modern time is old

and i of decrepit filth

left by wood jet engines

and a grace that is unfathomable

to the tiny soul piece of spit

in the ground