for Yayoi

in the depth of night between the filigree of moon light crystal insect words make little dotted noises in my brain since i can tell of time it wasn’t until now that i could see beyond the webs fog frustration confusion and fear toads scream and vines in the desert of my mind appear taking my breath in a zone beyond my flesh finger tips where i continue my monthly sins of my father installments bones collapse beneath the waves of chemicals from my fields of breathless hours what in heaven will i do if i know not what it demands the taco stands teem with hunger for all the wrong things on Broadway and 7th where life begins from vapors

another time

mbrazfield (c) 2024

flag display in the El Pavo Real DTLA jewelry gallery on Broadway these beauties have hung there since my kidhood seeing them there so dignified brought back so many wonderful and tragic memories Bruce Lee movies arcades colorful candied almonds parents embroiled in DV fear panic and coloring books fat crayons my pigtails and witnessing fatal drunk fights the stars in the sky an upward continuum of the light bulbs on the marquees and the ever hypnotic Million Dollar Theater and the frightening giant Victor’s Clothing blue groom and so forth and so on Los Angeles here I am your daughter….

pain

clouds linger high
we scale pavement
smiling faces grimace
yielding random thoughts
suplications gambles distraught
splendid sun bright
shadows between walls
dark with secrets
ghosts of yesterdays
progress thwarted suddenly
we but flowers
beating hearts love
hands create endlessly
civilization goes on
children delight wonderfully
men are themselves
women articulate negotiations
i say go
no will hangs
inside my soul
life looks good
my squint permanent
faith bottomless ahead
we look together
rationalizing lovingly quietly
in collective thought
together yet alone

on becoming an angel

mbrazfield (c) 2024

night always at night my mind wanders seeking shelter in fantasy of golden palm trees and crystal blue waters
day everyday my brain drags on a few synapses tell me to move out of the way before somebody knives me
night long drawn out my gut churns mouth waters reminiscing on mommas apple cobbler and the sweet cinnamon scent of her apron as i held her
day bright from sunny sky as i stand in line styrofoam tray pre wrapped subs carton of milk served by shaming eyes that pity me
night the thirsty dark i hear war cries grunts deep gurgles women sobbing a junkie last breath
day with hint of rhythm oozing out from stands on the rainbow flower vendors block Smokey Robinson was my guy
night twinkles with pookie pipes bic lighters and trash bin fires i notice star parallels in the sky milky way shavings and rogue morning stars
day depending on the block my sights may fall on sleeping babes cradled by loving arms or come upon the sight of a Coroner’s tent with one less soul inside