Chinatown

my Paul

/ mbrazfieldm / 9 Comments

just tonight can we stare at the lamp lights

     gleaming on the surface of the puddles in the street

tonight ange triste will you stand still

    so as to peer upon your waifly silhouette

without it floating from my bandaged hands

    can i be your Paul and place my ear atop your heart

and etch in little kisses i love you on the

renegade palpitations there about

       tonight no wine no smokes no laughing hard

no sucker punches no living the life no mosher pits

                   no altered minds

      just a little silence with you ange betwixt my arms

instead of me amidst your legs  

    you don’t always have to run away   scared little bird

pecker and picker of my nerves  and priestess of my vacuumed        

                        universe 

    one time before i leave and i lose you to the vampires

Aaron

/ mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment

when our palms met

that balmy Chinatown night

a little lost canary

from the corner pet shop

sang a melancholic cord

switching his little face

from right to left

he looked at me

and flew away

i had fallen in love

the kind of love

that makes you scrutinize

your breath your weight and even your thoughts

the kind where

you leave your beloved

friends pets and dishes

behind just to think about him

the kind of love

that makes you check your phone

fifty times at two in the morning

you know the kind you lose

your soul to in the encasing darkness

and nothing feels the same

distilled death and i churn my spirit

but you danced with me

for a few years

you are no longer Aaron

i am no longer me

i don’t recognize my smile

its erased forever in your cusp

my heart has melted away in your hypocrisy

my common sense buried under your peach tree

and Aaron he no longer lives here

and i don’t recognize

the song of the canary anymore

complication

/ mbrazfieldm / 5 Comments

tempt

me now

your raw heat

on my begging

lips tickle softly scrape my skin with your

chin take your fingers pulse them low inside

let’s look away

nothing lost

when the

heart

is

broken

tossed in the

rain of remorse

pelvis to pelvis we dance on the floor

desperately clinging to whatever

we should forsake

to avoid

being

loved

unlike Joanie and Chachi

/ mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

the side of your salty neck

was black with my eyeliner

your purple nails tore at my back

while i tried to pull down my pants

you had insisted on wearing your dad’s kilt

to a Circle Jerks recital

and with breathless whispers we gave up

i pulled up and you pulled down

but as a consolation prize

you let me grope your jockey ass

as the first riff of

“I just want some skank” started

alternative ending

/ mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

a wishing well

the red door smokey

music of any generation blares

curtains coil in the caress of night

the sunken eyes cheeks moist with the dew

truth you are a liar gospel im lying to myelf

regrets im sure the devil had some scorn ive had my share

smoke puff he loves me ash flick he loves me not

clinking glasses last call some hearts stutter

can i bum a cigarette another asks halo moon

bamboo jade blackflag germs window mirror

fleeting time biting nails taxi drive

the way of good intention blocked

to the tunnel one more time

flick flick flick shoot

i guess i love me not

tiny dust bowl doll

mad house

/ mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

in a mad house i shoo my heart away

i don’t know why      i stay

in the hope that you will feel

or think in your head to

need me

the yellow of the walls

suffocates me; I get held

down against my will

but it is not yellow

it is           dimness and fear

i see a tender brook out

of my third eye window

and the idea that i could

be free                  is unsettling

for letting you go

means being without

in my head i look into

my eyes and i see empty

inky dread         such a quick sand terror

in the night where did you go

from me

                        madness at all hours

stuns me; soothes me; makes me weep

cruelty beyond           all naturalness

of human spirit

the cell is silent              

the day is        come

the brook is                 muddy

east Psalm

/ mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

beloved Father
all i’ve known
and You are still
and shut to me

the west claims
me through my
sickened blood and
terms so foreign

i long for You
to open wide and
take me from
this abstract place

so autumn now is
here again and those
who’ve gone i can’t
replace; they were never here

Father of the east
call to me and claim
me as i am with
sullied heart

the broken bones
of battles lost
and smiles tainted
with grief

oh Holy One
in lone direction
let the Kingdom
come at last to me