i
think of
you today
it was tough
her screams
biting at my ears
meant for him
and her
and them
the whole lot
maybe Jesus too
buk,
the women around here
but who knew
i’m a woman too
born and bruised
and i don’t have a clue
but then again i was her
a long time ago
her hands jingling
her bling about
like falling feathers
from the boxing ducks
at MacArthur park
little waist
banded by Calvin Ks
why do us tough girls always dress like thugs?
mother issues grab her tissues
here come the waterworks
you’d say
buk, dude
work was hard today
the LA streets
me at her teat
this grimy Goddamned city
as she shared
about the girls she had
and the guys she fucked
all in a litany of blows and scars
her brothers left on her
mother called it teaching her the ropes
buk, i pray to you
were women like this
back when?
or has politics and Hollywood
fooled us?
broken afraid her fists she raised
fragile steel jaw
little girl unspoken
tender where she should be strong
she weeps over her barrettes
her brother broke when she was four
not about the busted lip
her lover gave her
or the county checks that can’t support her and her only child
buk, how can i counsel
when i haven’t been
consoled myself?
DTLA Skid Row
wanton bullets

tonight i have given up
trees comfort me for now
the light waves capture the tones of my tears
tonight the pain of my mind is entertained by the old dried chewing gum patties on the ground
i imagine a plucky child tossing the wad to the ground before his teacher catches him
or perhaps a love struck siren
preparing to kiss her sailor farewell
tonight i don’t want to doubt a higher power and i do not want to believe in the wickedness of us
tonight i stroll numbed to not smell the stench of misery misted by the atomizer of hypocrisy blowing from the Hall
instead my tired eyes are drawn to the gentle softness of the dust lanterns pummelled by wanton bullets of pidgeon shit
tonight i sit quietly accepting nothing and holding everything in my heart
counter psalm
chaos leads me to where they want
they make me sleep under shooting helicopters it guides me to lethal fire water
it vaporizes my soul it taunts me through the bridges of emptiness for its master’s gain
against my will i crawl through the tunnels of the brothers of hell i too have bent to darkness because i have no choice its laws and regulations punish me
its servant prepares a toe tag for me among the million files of others fallen you judge my disease with disgust my blood dried on the tile flooring
judgement and prejudice flanks me till the day i die and eternity will find a way to erase me
i am


Harry and Jill

Harry is from Cincinnati a failed Jack of all
Jill grew up in Amarillo
dish water blonde with cheap expensive tastes
Harry’s folks were working class
dad the pool hall alcoholic
mom hid hers in the laundry shed
back then Harry said we lived barely enough
by Sugar Hill between the parks
my paw a union man scraping for our meals
Jill watched his lips as the story wore
she’d look at me and snarl a bit
Harry said it’s a genetic tic
i puffed away on bidis and cloves
Jill kept her pain and her hatred deep in her soul
offering a place to stay to rest her bruised head
Harry spoke up and said ‘we ok’
her eyes caught the rat scampering across
the laundry she washed in the back of the lot
Jill turned away from our talk
Harry said Jill and i we’ll go for a walk
come again tomorrow and i’ll reconsider your deal
but right now she’s got to deliver
i know it’s not right so don’t judge me bad
if she don’t like the life i give her
Jill is free to depart anytime
this is who we are
it’s not very much
Jill looked to the west stretching her arms
reaching out toward the brick wall
pulled out her pipe and started to smoke
Harry looked down with shame in his eyes
my clipboard is packed i’ve nothing to speak
Nile

Nile was a girl gaze tragic like a Neil Young song mother as Nile called her had a name like a thunder storm soon the girl went astray in the world sleeping in the woods of the county jail mother didn’t want her little child hurt answering her calls after the pimps tore out her hair and by the morning stars Nile would soon depart to wander through the sidewalks of those evil streets before her momma could feed her breakfast with a broken heart the moon keeps the clock of the hours she’s gone mothers eyes swirl with the pain of knowing her daughter will never return
cicatrix

i have not felt well for years it seems i started to see the ghosts in the trees and broken lemons on the ground at midnight the welts in psyche begin to throb and i get up to walk in our great metropolitan cemetary for the crematorium cleaners don’t show up till noon my eyes cast a glance unto the sea only to witness the horsemen looking for the premature broken seals littered there by pissed off angels with head bowed James Dean style i wonder if Eve is in heaven i see helicopters pointing spotlights on the damned while with each new grave stone painted on these walls my scars form roots and i wander less each time i see the carnage
the flicker

the damp cold of the night
stuck to faces like wet tissue paper
in the alley where we smoked
being cool knowing all
i saw the flicker
invisible the signal
i shrugged it off
as too much alcohol
just the same
the flicker was there
tiny sparks of anguish
her eyes flashed
like wings on fireflies
then she slept
i took some steps
toward her head was brick
vomit eulogized the space
shoes torn and taped simultaneously
her wig tarry straw
7 of her fingernails fungused raw
morbid were my thoughts
approaching her in wonder
sounds escaped here and there
from her cavernous mouth
two lips as if she wore black licorice
upstairs above us
a hipster whistled
dark is the night he tweeted
the holy 18:28 she repeated
both bowed our heads to the flicker of our fate
her thighs

near the exits she stalls
pondering how to leave
the halls are all she’s known
selling pussy causing brawls
she says in sobbing whispers
before reporting to dad
i’m too old for this journey
legs bruised lips split by the cops
she mouthed off while raising her fists to the sky
then a shooting took over
so they let her off
with a warning that judged her
deep in her soul
later come problems
with bottles of booze
her daddy just told her
go visit Bruce
she stops at the station
to clean up her thighs
Terre Haute Indiana

here are we
the older youngs
free we are in cages of deceit
roaming their streets
coordinates
34.043926, -118.242432
live hear in death daily
hung tooth bad finger
blue the deal of song
we hum in hallucinations
good feet bad path
lay at your door step
cardboard deluxe
population dense
in invisibility
afterglow of probability
selling
taking
smuggling
gaping
puffing away social security
for us the Depression didn’t end
soup kitchen tourist
flop house nudists
we sweat it out
ashes torches broken spirits
smarter roaches
landlords watch the flock
Jimmy lost his luck
blue like artic ice
lips parted breath is gone
some one will call kin
near Terre Haute Indiana