
PTHH<5>


ive reduced life to see and keep
watching those outside of me
wandering through the forests of the street
i wandering but knowing my truth
keeping in time with the breath of us
i walk watch look down and teach
myself to bury it all in
like the subway at five
the scents of dust and gasoline
transport me to my early youth and years
when primordial rules of procreation haunted my womb
but there were no takers in the battle
as nights unraveled in perplexity
and days ended in sullen tragedy
no options left amid the fields of nothingness
now a mother to my years i orphaned most of them
walking away from normalcy into the mouth of modern beast who struggles with love for me


the mud passage blocks time sludge in the machine forces the bolts from my spleen dead Russian turnips in the pot momma hollers from the top flop house seamstress to the stars of liquid sanctum dew drops fall and we are everything that never was
only with age can i see myself in those children running and laughing in the womb of the summer night
they
only about a pound heavier than the great water lily pads laying quietly upon the whispers of the koi fish rising to the surface of the pond blowing kisses to the moon
we look each other
in the bloodshot eyes and laugh
you pull me forward
i tilt my head right
you go to the left chin down
i stand on my toes
my scared lips brush yours
as our inks spill across our
hearts painting our fate

purple lotus scent
the moon doesn’t hide tonight
see the change in time
i remember that garage
atop of the Echo Park hill
pretty in spring
bikes built to thrill
now my hands empty
mind full of memories
that fueled my entire life
the end nears by
we come close now to the station
we could never use words
only cryptic sensations
what sets me apart from the Godly
she asks
i can’t forgive what’s been done
i explain
all that is left
are two daughters
and a conjoint broken heart
supple eddies of wind
caress and tickle the yellow
little matted heads
and their thin arm stems
shooshes it away
they stand firm rooted in packs
patchy green grass
sprinkled with crinkly caramel leaves
some dandelion families
those of five and six
adopt a stray apple tootsie roll candy wrapper
that found its way from Halloween
a few rebellious dandies flourish
in one and two and they grow up pretty hardy
before being crushed under a running boy’s tennis shoe
i like those that grow up nice and tall
with shiny pea green fuzzy stems
that little Mexican girls harvest on a Sunday
to place on the altar of the Virgin mother
when they end their day in church
then there’s the really rugged ones
with sparsely yellow tufts
they are angry little spiky things
surrounded by the trash cans
punctured by the littering
wrapped in sheets of rust
those end up having to bear the brunt
of needy cats and dogs
looking for a litter box
lost
today
open sun
smiles a plenty
the kids all playing
innocence not taken
i breathe in the warm feeling
the ducks come near me for some bread
sweet genuine brown eyes smile at me
what does one do when you have won the war