bio

when i was a child

the God’s words confused me

as it was in the beginning

so shall it be in the end

Marley’s wailers also wailed

yet it still made no sense

when i was a girl

i studied about war in the local school textbook

but saw that both famous Abrahams modes of being sat naked on the dirty modern streets no bosom to hold tight to

no log cabin to sleep in

and Mary virgin mother became an entrepreneur in bottled holy wine and bloody linen sheets

just like any old biker momma i would come to meet

when i ran away just before the legal untender age

i devoted my life to Saint N Cassady

acid tests numbed out tongues

hugging my chest to my knees  

i just one spec of ash

from the forest of the streetlamps

where we all burned

from creationists angry balls

middle road i step the curb

beginning never esoteric

ending at my mother’s vault

whispering sitting on the retainer wall

perhaps in this universe

i’ve lived it all simultaneously

three Thelmas

Thelma was from Panama

a dancer in her day

came to Hollywood with glimmer in her eyes

but ended up scrubbing walls

and partying it up for pay she said

Thelma was from Washington DC

went to fancy chemistry school

came to NYC to do her thing

and we all three Thelmas

black eyes in common have we all

three Thelmas from different places

in the world cold winter rain

has become the norm

beads of soaking wet misery upon our windows

stretch and shrink and rainbows emit

no colors through the smog

when will the saints

mbrazfield (c) 2020

since the gases of The Breath began to stir laying star mosaic highway to my Earth i have stood here with the Mothers see our skin with every deep trench within lies a simple truth no matter how those eyes may look at it those evergreens beyond man’s streets will make their way to find me i the omnipotent Mother armored in degrees of time so tempered holding on to blades of grass and crooning birds the smiles of ghosts prophets who are strangers and now it is my time the holy Breath she comes on flames attire placing the finishing touches before i’m ushered softly silently diligently into a tomb of slumber

wet dream

sheets wrap what is left of me

apple wood scent fills the air California burns again and again

all organs supple still throbbing where they need to

thrilling fancies pool around my head eyes closed your face i read in the darkness of it all

lips brush tenderly drinking of my well from dark to light no one dispels the rumours that encircle you

in your hands i am burning like Califa queen arms let go no pressure felt safety net falls into hell

the grail lays on it’s broken side empty in your hands it once stood brimming with love scent intoxication down the surface of my legs

in your hands my history of civilization lips give way to carnal cries teeth gnash eyes shut tight

the comet passes through my skin truth lies in secret screams revealed

to me you’re just a dream

basura

you touched me softly
you held me to your bosom
you looked at me with the softness of a dying fawn
you whispered to me on dark nights with rainy windows
you buried your sweet face so innocently in mine when the howling winds drew near too close to your safety valve
you grew
you matured
your mind expanded
you took the bite of all forbidden
you wandered into the deserts full of twinkling lights
you wore the silks and the satins you heard the music play on mountains
like all good souls
you outgrew what we had
you had to leave and i understand that
although i wait i know you’ll never come
the sun rises and sets
i am here in judgment and in torment
i always knew in the end we were just a moment

mbrazfield (c) 2020

fleeing

nine in the morning it rains there are no clouds
just a dark gray block in the sky angelic concrete
i am longing for something or someone to come
in to this rain with me
alas the freight train
she won’t come
she has never been here
nor can i see her smokestack on the horizon
and when the sun sets
the sun does set in the rain
but i can’t see it
the freight train will still have not passed me by
what would i do in that train you ask
i would get out of here
to another place
another time
another land away from the nightmares
away from the cures
at this point
this point right here
we are all mad
the disease is the Garden of Eden
i give into the garden
the garden is in the freight train
there with wood paneling
like an Irish grandmother’s home there with drinks
there with spirits
the freight train rattles and my longing evaporates
it is now nine at night
i have not slept
i have not slept
i will not sleep
the freight train
i don’t see her
she won’t come for me and my longing
the rain will not come
i was born on a rainy day
the rain she is my lover and my companion
and she also sits with me in longing for other skies
that only the freight train can give or take away

time and me

time sits across from me
sticks her dried out tongue at me
i ignore time and i think about how the Sun catches in his eyes
sometimes the night dwells there too
the Moon interlaced with sparks of blue and black and only a color that God can name
time and i we have this relationship contingent upon
who falls from the table first she’s so wicked mean witch and i almost the same
then i think about him
i think about how those eyes
the Sun has caught and keeps me mesmerized taking my plans away from me
the Sun gets lost and the spider web blue topaz those are
i’m a fool
time laughs at me
she laughs at me
lady time she’s never believed that he catches the Sun in his eyes
she doesn’t want me to know that the radiant ocean of his soul is where i can go
time is a jealous harpy
dry heavy silence
unyielding and she stares
me in my eyes that don’t catch hardly anything anymore
dark
fire out
tired
sometimes we muse at the thought of how he catches
the Sun in his eyes blue so so blue
my eye
my third eye so so extinguished

blackened gold

for R Banks ♤

lips caress
the pain from my mind
blue eyes stroke my dying soul
beneath the surface of the black night
while in the frenzy of Danzig’s song you offer me a sip of water puffing away at native tobacco plucking at Goldie’s chords your life rearranged across your chest just a foreword to the quest that brought us two together