if only Brenda could rewind her time three years
shuffling slowly down Agatha street quiet only pigeons coo
i follow the trail of baby feathers-pretending to be sane
just to keep an eye on her
it is reached the daily destination
one of the many resting places
along the coastal California lie
her heels cut dry bond with the pavement
lips crusted knees bent soul MIA
i pull the wool over my own eyes
turn and walk away from her again
your expectations wants demands tactics tricks and commands are just a mirage
i too can do unto others but i choose not to i am at the disposal of my mind heart and soul exclusively
i break barriers and ceilings with the ultra sonic boom of my love quietly in the middle of time and my shed tears turn into diamonds
from my breast i nourish innocents the army of all
with a turn of my fingers i knit the cloth to shield innocents from the darkness of your claws
dear Mother and mothers and women and sisters and lovers and fighters and peacekeepers and spreaders of malice
to one and all rejoice in the day where the light began rejoice that we don’t know where we began because if we did i wouldn’t have the strength to stop myself from self destruction you mother the sacred mysticism
to all my sisters thank you for the pain for the wisdom for the guidance for the strength for the courage
to all those brothers who were teachers who were lovers who were predators who were violent who were kind who were fathers who were gentle who were respectful of the Flower
let us all rejoice that our first home is forever blessed let us rejoice and be thankful to our Higher Power She is where creation began and she is spirit woman
let us rejoice oh brothers that Adam did not have to endure the pain birthing us one nation under Earth one nation under us one nation under God is one nation under uterUs
let’s rejoice in our ability to recognize the importance of women of sisters of mothers of lovers of everyone in the light of being
let us rejoice that a woman created our body our arms our legs let us rejoice that in the concept of universal wisdom and teachings it is interjected with feminine living and guidance to balance which could be self and Universal deterioration
to all the feminists to all the sisters the women who seek to tear down as men do know that you are loved know that you are valued in all equality to all my human race that was begat from a woman’s place remember you have the power to choose to do the right thing
to all my sisters around the world cradling babies feeding them from garbage feeding them from their heart to the last bloody drop hear me and feel me i am here i can feel you i can sense you i am of you
your logic is your heart your will your inheritance your love never be tamed
-to all the women in the world young old new gone stay strong with love and respect
by the river
there’s a path
i bring her
coffee in the
morning and tell
her what the
day will task
at road’s end
i find her
home with little
dead flowers by
the door of
her secret world
no one sees
her no one
knows there are
many others that
walk through it
alone and never
say a single word
they smile and
sing and pray
the most melodious
and magic noises
from two toothless
lips do come
the black sparkle
in her eyes
uplifts the sting
in my own
pain as she
croons just for
me darlin’ never
lose your light
yeah i’m still at the Gold Digger bar
past 4 am i party hard
slammin’ vodka laughin’ loud
jeans dirty scratched up arms
cigarettes all crushed and ground to the ground
i wear sweat socks with my heals
my man left me for a smack smoking whore
i’m pissed as hell and i don’t know my name
the welfare office cut off my game
during the day i beg for change
and once a month i take three trains
only to have my kids’ foster mom
cancel again
my daddy whupped me and put me on the streets
my momma left him but didn’t take me in
and the clean women from the west side
got a cold fire in their heart
at least my babies are fed
and i’m not crawlin’ on my knees
i guess i lost the social worker bet
the cops they picked me up on Tuesday
they said i was running in the street naked
i ran out of my calming pills
and my doctor said no more refills
it’s ok i understand my face’s a little dirty
my skin is really tan
the boils on my face
kinda’ turn you off
but it’s fine by me
my God above keeps watch
your stinging words against me
are flowers in my crown
i know my kids will grow up strong
and i did the best i could
the court judge calls me unresponsive
a cruel and evil ma’
he don’t know what happened
in Kentucky when i was a baby child
but it’s ok at least I have some common sense
i’d rather let my babies live
than drag them down with me
i never done nothin’ right in life
but i give thanks for my strength
and take pride in the pain
luck
smitten
with few steps
happy with the
choices i have made they belong to me
unpopular turns delinquent alike
options were mine
judgmental
endings
are
just
that my
conviction
is steady all
ready to go come the wave of infernal
positioned to strike with white hot venom
for mercy and
dripping with
bloody
hand
and then the YHWH said I told
you so the vampires suck my mind clean but there is nothing that
the blue cannot repair when i get
the itch beyond repair the bones of rapture sidewalk dirty o hosanna mercy
my unto you split tongued brother me
thinks that behind all the churches Eve was framed pass the roller holy
shit i now see the world is
beautiful float float float among the brick the sign the pain the red
rider gives me a lift brother what
you say John it is i who is ugly pardon me sir i
am your mirror antiseptic dirty test don’t
beg in front of my cathedral go next door boy next door boy
next door the Buddhala idols clash with
the golden walls of mirage purpose Vegas you say i guess let’s get
away oh yes brothers yes the young
of evermore fodder for the dirty lust i must i trust i shall
be cleansed the flock will not be
taken Satan must not win but he would go play poker what you
say yes he can 7:13 ok roller
square dice baby pierce the bribes of common let the goat go to
the edge don’t let the innocent crumble
omnipotent dawn shawled in gray and pink delicately kisses her on her scarred forehead as it rests against the bus bench advertising the most prestigious real estate agent in town while seven nylon bags each with a logo from a market or a high end store warehouse her last prized belongings one ragged blue Nike sneaker and paper cups filled with grime a broken clock and red wires
militant she is in body in mind she could be anywhere beyond the stars when she smiles the image in her eyes reveal the fires from hell in a most delicate green other times she sings in laughter and waves hello across the sky to the graces never seen by human eyes the locals with finery of wear wonder why she’s there and crown her as a public nuisance not meant to be part of this community there is just too much of a great divide between her prophecy and their brittle decaying reality
look the lawmen arrive she’s more despised and made to carry her belongings down Dolores St. and then the dusk with iron claw he comes and she can’t run away from the hand of fair and righteous rule the goodly people have unanimously decided through tax forms and priority that she must go away the jury wash their hands for the people have spoken and so she takes her fate with a tired brave face not understanding the hate or what she did and where it got her
for three days she’s placed on a hold prodded with instruments of scorn and judgment pleading for her thirst to be mollified she’s forced to take bitter pills as the keepers of the places gamble on her kismet now she’s subdued her gown is sheared down to her contorted waist lacerated feet and hands are tied to the bed of loveless nails for the sake of the most upstanding people’s protection system
mud
coolness
green cricket
calls to the soul
primordial waste
spirit shredded woven
in the skin of the leper
i’ve become night hangs loosely poor
lacking luster my lady shoes not
good enough to walk the sidewalks of the
chosen fools who speed holiness away
my gown humble with the dirt of work
hands clasped in riot darkly hid
elbows turned upright gaping
for fluids of defeat
social sunshine glares
upon my lips
without a
tragic
face
try
mighty
sinner smile
at least look to
the west of Hope street
and the pillars under
the court house of the fake lights
at the steps of public health signs
and with divine encrusted begging
bowl nee five dollar coffee paper cup
we ask again tonight and through the day
for gentle rain across my face gone
away with sorrow full with blown
out stars gazing through the soul
of infant time and sin
seeped through secret holes
in skies hazy
with sanguine
guilty
stain
last night hope shone once
her dreams of home laid to waste
unlucky salt dash
*HAMP= The Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP) is a government program introduced in 2009 to respond to the subprime mortgage crisis. (Wikipedia)
