it continues the heat the history slow as fuck although it was a good day WAR spilling the wine through my ear canals petrified by the bullshit of LA but i love her the only mother wife side whore she saint i could die for otherwise i too lust and look after those unwitting complicated boys of Porciuncula in my day dream i fancy i am like William Allen or Johnny R pragmatically im just a xitana malvivida
we the people are our own R. Murdochs when necessary
hidden from the sun
steady you wait watching all
the souls who come here
busy they don’t look upward
revering your glow above
on a rainy day the stink rises rancid savory industrial primordial sweet modern
within the pillars of great society
here i am with my outcasts
we together in all of it
on most days to suffer is a blessing
a day at the spa a swim in a lake
around here on most nights
they medicate howling with ecstasy
oblivion in concert
first the rush of light heavenly usurped glory
then dark matter throughout the hallways
prophesies racking up
at the end of the runway conveyor belt
of fucked up lives
merely bonded by a lighter spark
walls beige and rainbow
thoughts amulets news casts
codes hushed by traffic
sometimes theres eyes awake
forever saluting the sun
prayers in LA dialect
if you know signs
if you dont why
music pain laughter light
mayhem fun petty crimes
stop sometime look above
release the delusional wish
the last of the daylight cracked through the building sides one could tell it was after 5 pm the watermelon sized baby rats were out for their breakfast
she laid down to think of Jupiter her drug crooked back to the pavement scrawny bedazzled legs extended upward on the art building wall hieroglyphs of desperate youth her eyes scanned like Oklahoma driver’s radio then she noticed her left boot lost its heel the right boot had none to begin
sooty mullet waxy matted with environmental phlegm coughed out by bullshit talkers she looks toward the up and the moon tries to enter her nightly stage but as always held back by adoring tongue wagging angels watching for a ghetto bird sting
now stretched legs stiff uncrossed arms posed around her ribs she aches slightly the shallow in her breath helps to stave off those unaffordable desires that quickly become her monster jaws grinding she settles noticing a lone cluster of plastic hydrangeas bleached by the satellites looking down as a cherub babe
her soul comes and goes from door to door looking for a score body limbs head torso dirty flesh colored blanket 100th hand Betsey Johnson gym bag mildewed Wet n’ Wild goth girl pallet from 1985 somewhere between Hollywood and Union Station the overlay has lasted 20 years
the streets cacophony of laughter and cries lights scream to her good byes cop cars dog fights stabbings overdosed doves starvation American relief fleeing from here the NARCAN generation paper plate nutrition styrofoam hydration we recycle ourselves shallow is her breath brow sweats but no bread
inside hep C rots necessary functions ulcers void of burn no food no internal bleeding red cross she’s nailed to it the drums somewhere in Africa a cradle hands outlined in caves a body engulfed in darkness a mind she remembers remaining there
without knowing she’s there legs cramped stiff against the wall forever head reborn again sewer water baptized her eyes closed chest deep in its stillness head cocked to her right shoulder the angel of it won
cyber Monday tired long drive
random Target children crying wanting
mothers sighing fathers walking behind
cops strolling looking for something
not in particular looking plain
inside partly broken hard times
we all stare out far
our thoughts hidden polite smiles
riddled with worries this that
crimes in our head saddened
skies blue clouds fluffy right
still deepening in the heart
a desire to be upright
while looking inside of grief
snow is fake elves shelved
Palestine hurts Israel bleeds here
America sinks as she steps
on heads backs shoulders hands
the people we hang dangling
Betty Crocker’s ads cannot repair
the damage of those here
walking shopping pretending most wonderfully
to be free to do
to love to speak openly
but we’re not just drowning
underneath raging mad correspondents with
all the lies that linger
here at a random Target
on cyber Monday we are
on most nights
after the good girls have gone to bed
i remain in the bastard streets
of the fancy conniving boulevard
a priest of sorts a mother to them all
a bandage a kind word a gift card to Subway a needle a pamphlet
on every corner a hefty dose of Narcan
on most days i wonder
“what will i see today”
a corpse a hooker a business man
perhaps a Hilton or a Kardashian
my reflection on a tarnished metal sheet stretches my eyes down
it streamlines my cheeks
i flush and quickly leave
the phone rings
needed now on 7th street
when a little kid i was
Broadway was the place to be
Bruce Lee double features
before the Mexican Bs poured out
from the silver sheets mariachi trumpets and cock fights
the arcade and Arab jewelry shops
the old men speaking Yugoslav
fighting over parking spots
those were my early days
it’s about 4:36 am heading on foot
to Pershing square
the tamale vendors begin to stake
a corner with the most gabacho laborers
the scents and stenches
the city moaning itself to rise
i midwife the rising baby sun
sitting on the retainer walls
of Angels Flight
noticing a stash of pookie pipes
glistening in the runoff
of the Angelino fading starlight
it’s time for coffee and a jaunt
to Werdin Alley where i collect
the ticker tape prophecies in my mind
of what i will encounter later
in the nightmares of my night
words less spoken 