in my age
i just learned
how good it
feels to wake
up in my
bed so warm
and soft and
inviting some say
it would feel
like the hug
of a mother
but in my
age this is
all i have
created by my
own unsure hand
NELA
early bird special
when i die i’m curious how my skull will look will i have all of my teeth my grave robbers won’t find gold will my nose holes be like a heart i wonder when i steam Botan i like to eat it hot with rice vinegar and a little toasted sesame seed oil how do you take yours love my toe nails well yeah they are a little chipped i guess i’ll get around to them soon this week lazy really no not true i just don’t think my toes are that important do you like my drawings i like the term avant gard between you and me that means i don’t have a rats ass worth of talent but if i pretend it’s a Polaroid of my soul with a few foreign words painted on the rich matron will buy it they love missed spelled words too makes them complete knowing they saved a wretch like me my hair yeah what’s wrong with it oh a nest really i ran my fingers through it when i washed it in the morning but do you think that they will put 10 pounds of mustard seeds in my skull or will the vandals toss it round my chop sticks feel crooked i better stop putting them in the dishwasher i suppose my tits yeah didn’t you hear about Newton’s law of gravity dude what is this by the way how’s your prostate been i’m a lady so i won’t speak of the southern-most half of your equator
for Chabela’s grave stone
the old path to the
gray green river holding gold
steps of ghosts fade off
mercantile store stands
empty and devoid of blood
by the railroad’s end
youthful eyes smiling
bright pigtails full of petals
soul in pretty dress
hand
i’ve never really placed much attention to my hands they just work write eat wipe bathe pick scrub love cup stroke pet grope sweat type hold i took them to a man and he injected ink in some places symbols only useful to me oh and i’ve never taken into consideration how much they’ve fought mostly against myself and with people bent on kicking my ass the fingers are aging too crooked they will inevitably be if i’m lucky to get to be that old a little scarred and a little cracked in some bones from falls punches and climbing up or down from walls maybe i was too wild for my hands although i’ve had some feminine moments with polish and rings among other things a woman’s hands are good for my nails are short and i chew them off when no one is around to comfort me the lines on my palms are the secret roadmap i think i have followed in my travels with tiny trenches diving deep and some just cutting off i might have a few knuckles bigger than the rest but that’s ok i want to keep them as a trophy to my life
violetear
they riot in the plumeria tree
the one with honey hearted blossoms
darting merrily in and out
electric buzz as their ruby throats
quenched by morning dew elixirs
blend with the sun
he loves me not
i go away tomorrow
will you not love
me three times tonight
i’ll come again to
hold your hand but
we never know our
fate or luck and
if we come to
stay for a few
hours more then what
will change in us
la cita
es muy temprano
son las cuatro
de la mañana
y las sombras
que caen afuera
hablan cosas de
mi vida y
no puedo respirar
me dicen que
usted dr. azul
es cardiólogo superior
y que me puede
diagnosticar y dar un beso
en las estrellas marinas
y que todo mi sufrimiento
se ahoga en el olvido
de las sirenas vestidas
en oro y plata
doctor cardiólogo
yo hago muchas preguntas
usted no sería el primero
en decir no puedo contestar
lo que necesita saber mujer
en unas horas estaré completamente
azul y gris con pena y el corazón
se desangra porque ya no puede mas
en su opinión cual es mi prognosis
señor doctor del corazón
lo tengo ya muy quebrado
hare mis planes finales
le acepto su beso
y buscare que los ángeles
negros me vengan a llevar
o encontro
é muito cedo
são às quatro
da manhã
e as sombras
que caem do lado de fora
eles falam sobre
minha vida e
não posso respirar
eles me dizem isso
você dr. azul
ele é um cardiologista superior
e o que você pode
diagnosticar e beijar
nas estrelas do mar
e que todo o meu sofrimento
afoga-se no esquecimento
das sereias vestidas
em ouro e prata
médico cardiologista
Eu faço muitas perguntas
você não seria o primeiro
em dizer que não posso responder
o que você precisa conhecer mulher
Dentro de algumas horas estarei completamente
azul e cinza com dor e coração
ele sangra porque ele não aguenta mais
na sua opinião qual é o meu prognóstico
senhor médico do coração
Eu já o tenho quebrado
Vou fazer meus planos finais
Eu aceito seu beijo
e vou procurar anjos
negros vêm para me levar
the appointment
it’s very early
it’s four o’clock
in the morning
and the shadows
that fall outside
they talk about
my life and
i can’t breathe
they tell me that
you dr. blue
are a superior cardiologist
and that you can
diagnose and kiss it away
in the stars by the sea
all of my suffering
drowns in oblivion
witnessed by mermaids dressed
in gold and silver
cardiologist doctor sir
i ask many questions
you would not be the first
in saying i can’t answer
what you need to know woman
in a few hours i will be completely
blue and gray with grief and a heart
that bleeds because it can’t take it anymore
in your opinion what is my prognosis
mr. heart doctor
it’s already broken
i will make my final plans
i’ll accept your kiss
and i will wait for the black angels
who come to take me
haiku for Mark
grey eyes open shirt
i want you tonight lover
luck whistled on by
paging Dr. Burroughs, Dr. Burroughs please…
WS i don’t feel that well tonight
the stars are covered in dust and grime
and the corner store doesn’t have the Windex i like
i’ve listen to Thelonius on Bluetooth
and Ravel’s Bolero till the landlady came
to shut me up it wasn’t even that loud
i struggle Billy Bull Baby i see you
in dreams of course with your suits and balding
beautiful head but your brain really turned me on
i’ve been going back and forth for three days whether i should
go to Daikokuya’s for a ramen bowl but i just don’t have the gumption
i think i’m depressed again the tears run like Jesse Owens and i have no interest in making
them stop
W im in head first in the Interzone of my own doing
for hours i sit on the kitchen counter
looking out for the little brown birds who eat the last
pomegranates of the winter and wonder where the
first half part of my life went but i worry more
that i have no specific certainty where my last half is
going
can you read me a bed time story my favorite is “Green Eggs
and Ham”
work by mbrazfield 2001
indications and usage
its not the lining of the heart or the medulla that is swollen it is pain of the spirit anger at the lot resentment at the lack of fairness and extreme abhorrence of the violence in my orbit of which you know that i know i cant fly its just wishful thinking a survival mechanism from a childhood taken so there is absolutely no need to pathologize my just being human i understand youre just the man with the accreditation and i can get that my other man under the bridges of my nation is working on the fly both bringing me the holy candy to take the edge away of the inevitable lesson of having to turn the other cheek but due to heavy handed legal messes summoned by the maternal book of ancient testament coming in direct conflict with the law of teeth for teeth coupled with Eve and Adam’s eye disease i bear the mark of all mankind and gift of favorite sons free will is not for you to harvest in the laboratories of supply at no discount price for first time users
