most honest answer from a man to me

 

even as you are
here bruised and
curled up begging
for a breath’s instant
of attention i am not
willing to give it
 
beyond fragile are you
so much that weeping
you can’t do so you
look to me for comfort
 
i admit that i take and take
and when i am asked to share
i only contribute hollow tin
words that dribble out
of a no longer necessary
part of me
 
i don’t pity you
and i realize that i don’t
really care about you
i string you along for
my base needs
 
your tears and hardships
disappointments and pains
do not steal neither my
appetite, rest or peace of mind
i am perfectly happy if
you die but if you live it
does not really matter
 
you are welcomed to
continue down this road
but if you turn back
i will not follow you
not one thing can make me
love you or want you
 

i can not say i need
anything you give
neither your joy or smiles
or sophomoric gifts have any
value to me
 
albeit if you want to enter
you have been warned of the risks
and know that i don’t love you

 

Harry and Jill

mbrazfield (c) 2023

Harry is from Cincinnati a failed Jack of all
Jill grew up in Amarillo
dish water blonde with cheap expensive tastes
Harry’s folks were working class
dad the pool hall alcoholic
mom hid hers in the laundry shed
back then Harry said we lived barely enough
by Sugar Hill between the parks
my paw a union man scraping for our meals
Jill watched his lips as the story wore
she’d look at me and snarl a bit
Harry said it’s a genetic tic
i puffed away on bidis and cloves
Jill kept her pain and her hatred deep in her soul
offering a place to stay to rest her bruised head
Harry spoke up and said ‘we ok’
her eyes caught the rat scampering across
the laundry she washed in the back of the lot
Jill turned away from our talk
Harry said Jill and i we’ll go for a walk
come again  tomorrow and i’ll reconsider your deal
but right now she’s got to deliver
i know it’s not right so don’t judge me bad
if she don’t like the life i give her
Jill is free to depart anytime
this is who we are
it’s not very much
Jill looked to the west stretching her arms
reaching out toward the brick wall
pulled out her pipe and started to smoke
Harry looked down with shame in his eyes
my clipboard is packed i’ve nothing to speak

broken sailor

Leonard sang of Him a broken sailor.
a sheppard in a foreign land long lost.

me a foreigner in my own iced soul.
always stomping on black soften thin ice.

wondering if He and me have thin soles.
and if we were Him would we get thorny crowns.

or would the thorns on our sides be our heads.
He stands there watching for eternity.

the state of my people eternal too?
for bread is not enough we need love too.

will You come to us on earthly matters.
at some point we’ve become judges all here.

the court of man is densely packed with noise.
Leonard sang of Him a broken sailor.

mbrazfield (c) 2022