my last one

photo: mbrazfieldm (c) 2024

he’s in a little cedar box
with an American flag tied to him
she sighs through the cat hair
and dust in the sunlight of the room
particles dance float and flip
she speaks in tender fondness
sweet pink cotton candy memories
for my ears to receive
now their father is gone too
the remains? they will cremate
him soon
she ponders for 37 seconds
should they share the cedar box
then she changes her mind
the radio music pounds in fog
from somewhere in her bathroom
i don’t think the children would
like that
for my second husband to share
a resting place with my last one

generic chp. 8

it’s the little poisons she thought as he spoke about trials foisted upon him as a child by the needs of selfishness and delirious desires of unbridled women his skin pocked with stab wounds stitched up in classic county hospital overworked student staff he groaned in self pity he’d forgotten why he was there in the first place we spoke for 23 minutes more then parted as patient and professional

generic chp. 2

upon arriving to the designated meeting place she saw her there, a slump of pain encased in ancient royal flesh filled with torment and cheap hooch. alas her man had died. she regrets thinking that he was  fucking another whore, when in reality he bestowed upon her his last gasping grunts.

how do i tell the Moon

mbrazfield (c) 2024

how do i tell the Moon that her Venus is gone
far from everything we know high away past the Pleiades and the Milky Way but always in the vicinity of higher power

how do i tell the Moon that her Venus is gone way past forever yet eternally  interwoven in star dust and holy silent breaths caressing her head after she’s wept too much

how do i tell the Moon that her Venus is of such love magnitude that we can’t see her as she holds us in her loving arms ebbing and flowing us warmly in her arms

the office

mbrazfield (c) 2024

on a rainy day the stink rises rancid savory industrial primordial sweet modern
within the pillars of great society
here i am with my outcasts
we together in all of it
on most days to suffer is a blessing
a day at the spa a swim in a lake
around here on most nights
they medicate howling with ecstasy
oblivion in concert
first the rush of light heavenly usurped glory
then dark matter throughout the hallways
prophesies racking up
at the end of the runway conveyor belt
of fucked up lives
merely bonded by a lighter spark

psalm 23 LA style

mbrazfield (c) 2023

today was a  bitter day
i contemplate giving up
the people i love
have violated my trust
stomped my heart
spat in my courage
to all i said fuck you
in a moment of haste
i walked out to the street
not believing what they did
i suppose we are just human
Liberty i work with your poor
your huddled masses yearning
for something
my compassion and loyalty
dragged through the hell of your mouth
beat by the hate in your heart
and God
i feel alone
afraid
thy rod and staff
comfort no one
today was a bitter
confusing day
its become so very easy
to look the other way
but in the end
i couldn’t walk away
so God help me
as i walk into the fire again

today was hard

mbrazfield (c) 2023

today was hard
he broke the
fire sprinkler and
a flood washed
three floors down
today was hard
she woke from
elusive slumber with
hot wires slithering
through her brain
convulsions and saliva
at our feet
today was hard
he almost struck
her through the
chest where her
already shattered heart
bleeds beyond belief
today was hard
her poisoned tongue
on point ready
to kill both
of their fragile
egos in one
accusation of deviance
today was hard
there was nothing
resolved so tomorrow
we grow more
tired of this
insufferable calculated demise
today was hard

transference

mbrazfield (c) 2022

she spills her thoughts unto a loose leaf notebook page with an old blue Bic ink pen
her kitchen table strewn with paper scraps cheap chocolates and charity meals from St. Vincent’s
on her bed plastic liners rolling papers and blue aluminum bags tufts of tobacco on her sheet an old exaggerated Brave on the label
arms scarred by a childhood rash disease that taught her plenty about loneliness
now she the matriarch of two generations birthed from her
she wanders down the halls watching the world through an orphaned telescope
i like watching her turn her room apart
to show me husband’s funerary ashes
and dead baby one shot down before his prime
is the conversation everyday
then my turn to drive away
to punch on keys a progress report
about the life of another woman
whose had to pay a staggering price for wanting happiness