January

cold restless

eyes opened

limbs clasped tight into the womb of the donated forest green love seat

two suns and one absent moon ago

there you were in faded cotton gown

bleach rough by the sanitation bound

gasping and heaving

not too different

to the cooing sounds

of city pigeons

i never thought that you would go

as i expected that you were fighting

now

so much time has rushed on

and late tonight

while i write this for you

i wonder

were you crossing the Styx

neck deep

tell me

does that river ebb and flow

like your spirit and your soul

is the current soft

do the little waves embrace your ankles

like precious jewels

time split the light in two

we both took in your make up bag

i the incorrigible one

mumbled unsanctified Kaddish

not finding the words

no matter

YHWH had cupped

broken and trite utterances

from my mouth