Marama doce lua

wearing your silver suit

as the king of my night

Marama waltzes here

through the ancient sky

commandeering his multitudes of star subjects

i too wait

for my one little beam of tender light

to show me his face

while i sit here

winking at his glory

from my servant’s chair

my sweet Marama

minha doce lua

lesson

i thought i saw a light in the blizzard

i thought i had walked up to it

i thought it let me in

i thought it was warm

i thought it took my pain

i thought it made me happy

i thought it wanted me

the way i thought i wanted it

i now know i was blind in the storm

i now know i was crippled too

i now know i had been standing outside

where the cold held me down

i now know the liquids in my veins

and how i had cried

and even though i cant want it any longer

it will still never want me

one armed Jesus

“Whatcha got there, baby? Is so tiny.” She rasped and coughed through dried saliva crusted lips puckering in and out from an oval mahogany hole.

“It’s a little Jesus, but his left arm broke off, see? He kinda looks like a gun.” I responded looking at the damaged Son,  offering her a peek.

“Oh, how that happen, baby?” She said licking her wide mouth and wiping the sour spit from the black corners.

“I’m not sure, maam. But I’ve had this Jesus for many years and He kinda never gets lost.” I answered gripping the tiny maimed Savior from His remaining arm while aiming it listlessly at a pigeon flopping in the rancid gutter water beneath our feet.

I turned to look at my companion as she swooshed some bottles around a grimy old Vons plastic bag. The rude lilac and blue back drop lighting from the 99₵ Store illuminated her matted gray hair and her red sweat suit varnished hard with the filth of the streets.

It was around 11:47 p.m. on a Wednesday that I found myself sitting on a graffitied bus bench in Hollywood. The street was dense with foreign cars, bleak in their ashy paint and dime sized nicks and dings. In the midst of the piss scented early spring drifts of night air she told me her name was Martha. I offered my hand and Martha declined politely by turning her face to the west. I looked at my hand, maybe it was dirty, but I couldn’t see much.

Rexall

on the table is a word
followed by dozens of
other words lying next
to each other in lines of
instruction, warning and
grief

although the moon has
dropped her pretty face
i pick her up by her wise
chin and beg her to shine
again

the stars in my moon’s
hair dance like beams
in a driven stony river
where the bones of time
soak unto the soil of my
bloods

what a waste of the moon

what a waste of the moon.

she hangs there brightly,

excitedly laughing,

waiting for you and i to kiss.

i look at her with an apologetic smile looking nervously

at the door to open. 

i don’t want to hurt her.

i really wish you could see the beam of love in her face.

what a waste of the fragile moon.

who like me hangs there in the empty stage of the night, broken.

wishing you would someday beam for me.

late at night

when the moths sleep
and the ants strategize
how to crumble a dead
water bug under the house
i wake up with fever.


the riveting white hot
hateful kind that doesn’t
let you sweat. my kidneys
brochette while my heart
slowly bakes and in a pang
of fear i think if i wait
will i live to the morning?


a war rages between heaven
and hell in a warning that
Einstein understood well
relativity unto death and life
the wormholes and quantum
so plainly in sight.

3:13 a.m.
so dimly you come. to
satiate my sole being with
liberty’s cry. but i wait
another season to trial
another pill in the angst
to chase life. a comfort
in theory, in practicum
a lie.

i hate coffee now

she came on the wave of

eggy breathes of revelers

choking on designer swine

I’d never seen a soul so simple

but in coffee intertwined she

talked of your affections

so disappointed that she wasn’t

taken to New York and how those

big blue ones scowled at her

but rest assured that my face

never betrayed the offers

made to me at our cafe

in a moment of nothing

when I thought I was something

in your words filled with emptiness

let down

i woke up early.

the scent of my soap

crept into my imagination

and dared me to dream.

i drew a map in my mind.

closed my eyes and squeezed

them shut hoping you would like

my soap too.

feeling the weight of your hands,

on my breasts and your lips on

my chest, my soul blushed.

just a little, though.

the little monk’s bell broke the

spell and i knew you weren’t coming.

urban pre-k

i think of air

the load on my mind

is old and un fascinating

Alvarado has lost its

gold and my memories with it

i miss the buildings and their soul

the potato pancakes and the ducks

breezes that used to smell like L.A. Times

have died away with Marilyn and the Waltz

the pain of polio boosters and empty hugs

rushes back as i walk from the past

on Sundays i had gampa and pistachios on the lawn

an incomprehensible accentuated teutonic love

but that too has flown away with the

sirens and on the wings of the med fly