yes i’m a country lover dressed in a Ramones tshirt and i dont give a damn

my mom liked country music

i wasn’t sure what to make of it

born in a mecca of diversity as far as the blind eye could see

race segregation economics roach versus beetle infestations

but country was white blues i felt

Johnny Cash praised God like Rev. Gary Davis would

Dolly and Kenny brought joy to my mom and her kibbutzi sisterhood

Willie and Kenny transported a 7 year old pig tailed little girl to another America while on various road trips with the acquaintance to those angels

there has never been any doubt my drum is not only different but off as well

i can’t say that life made me this way but here i am

my thoughts have never been linear and yes i like it hard

music people music

not necessarily in volume but in soul Patsy i’m still in love

with our heartache our diverging dreams

you fell to pieces and i preferred to cut

piano bars mosh pit stops jazz hangouts agape screams i love them all the same

and every now and again when it all gets insane i remind myself that all diversified complications still carry the same twang

RIP Gambler 🃏

answering 30 interesting questions (invitation by ZEALOUS HOMO SAPIENS)

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

I don’t really have one, but I do respond to Grady at times.

2. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?

I doodle periodically and it usually looks like ancient writing.

3. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?

I get up and pace.

4. Do people consider you as talkative or quiet?

It depends who im with. im a better listener.

5. What makes you cry?

Untimely death.

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?


7. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?

In the morning when i get ready for work.

8. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

That i could float and talk to animals. Now, i talk to floating animals.

9. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?

Chocolate and peanut butter.

10. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

Im an anxious person, folks usually calm me down, so everyone i know is kind.

11. How often do you read the newspaper? Which sections?

Daily and world events, arts section, funnies.

12. Which animal scares you the most?


13. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?

Ive learned to choose my battles. Life is too short.

14. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received?

That im not normal.

15. What question are you tired of hearing?

Where are you from?

16. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?


17. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends?

A mix of both. i love to meet new people and hear their story. im kinda of a free spirit.

18. Do you have a catchphrase?

Duuuude! For boys and girls alike.

19. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why?

LA of course. It was Bukowski’s home and mines too. i love Frisco too, lots of great memories and love when i lived there.

20. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

Jackson, yes, Jackson. I love Johnny and June’s song.

21. When was the last time you lied?

i called in “sick” last week, but i really just wanted to sleep in.

22. What’s something that amazes you? animals.

23. Would you rather be the first person to explore a planet or be the inventor of a drug that cures a deadly disease?

Planet, i might be able to find three life saving cures there.

24. What is your favourite amateur activity?

Making people laugh.

25. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

i gotta relieve myself…

26. What is your favourite song (at least at the moment)?

To Love Somebody, Nina Simone’s version.

27. List someone you know, and describe them in 5 words.

Homeless neighbor: Kind, Intelligent, Free-Thinker, Wise and Emotionally Strong

28. You can select one person from history and have them truthfully answer one question. Who would you select and what would the question be?

Cleopatra. How hard was it to be you?

29. Which celebrity or artist do you resemble the most?

If Jane Birkin and Angelina Jolie had a baby, the baby would look like me, but in a non-Hollywood way.

30. What do you want me to know?

That you are worthy of all the blessings in the world.

dysmorphic algorithm

sometimes in life things happen to the person that makes them hate God.

sometimes one person who knows it all will meet the person who hates God.

the knowledgeable person will tell the hateful person that they are not doing things right in the eyes of the Lord. in the knowledgeable person’s mind, the hateful person’s life is fucked up because the person is hateful.

sometimes the knowledgeable person does not know what the hateful person can and can’t do. and doesn’t bother to ask, because they know it all.

sometimes knowledgeable people don’t understand that some hateful people are handed a bad package that takes a life time to process.

sometimes the self-righteousness of one person will not allow them to see that the hateful person can’t serve God the way the self-righteous person wants them to.

sometimes the hateful person will turn the world away because they are ashamed by their inability to serve the way the self- righteous person wants them to.

sometimes neither person stops to pray.

meine schuld

The repulsiveness will pass

and all will be diplomatic.

though the heart might desire

with a Samsonian strength,

the mind’s Delilahian command


i smell the base notes of April

cold and unreasonable

on the gray sidewalk

smeared with shit.

the shoe leather of the

Langer’s years no longer

remands my weight. the thoughts

have become too stained and heavy

with the ugliness of fate.

no longer is it important

how the words fall out

and in what succession they may

land. all that matters is that

you are well and undisturbed

locked in your thoughts

and creature comforts.

the birds will fly and filth

will drift. we will wake up

and toil. spit at the gods and idols.

Strauss will play and cigars will emit

perfumed relic. i wear my pants in

constant grief, i drink the beer,

i take your quiz.

as you smile and walk away

my blood will crawl and

die someday; only as long

as i let you.