Poetry

gaza

/ mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

with a fissured heart

and tired hands

aching legs and broken words

i grasp loosely to

figure

out

what is happening to us

i created the west of my spirit

and was gifted the east of my soul

not a child of import

but yes a child of a pompous war

not of one tribal affiliation

but stuck in the carnal politics

of the complications in people

if you could touch me now

my coat of lesser colors

you could set me free

You and i crossing water

to mourn my tiny innocence

she hangs in the corner closet

pretty robin’s egg blue coat

with every year

that has crawled by

she fades away from me

conditional love

/ mbrazfieldm / 9 Comments

i guess i’ll see you

3 am works for me too

when you get here

climb into bed

shock my soul awake

with your cold hands

gunmetal lips upon my neck

your left knee shucking

my reluctant legs open

we say a few false words

we disagree on stupid things

and we pretend that we are civil

when all we are

when all we have been

are two wild and seething animals

needing to get fucked

to release pain and rejection

and forget the wars that we have fought

why are we so afraid

you even more so than me

why do you come here

what could i possibly offer

that you haven’t already had

from better women

is it my cunning

my tortured soul

my soldier mentality

or my willingness

to be your whore

in your world

i am nothing

you are king

in my world

you still don’t know

i exist and i laugh

at the complexity

of your thoughts

and your offerings

your confusion as to who

i am

let me tell you who i’m not

unlike the others

i will not play a part

you can’t dress me up

change how i breath

what i smoke what i drink

i

will

not

follow you around

send you love letters

or get a manicure

you want your cock sucked

you know i’m game

and like a good little baller

you know how i play

before the tantric show you want

i need to feel your collateral in me

bite me squeeze me hold me down and tease me

i won’t look into your eyes

because that’s when our problems start

the hearts start beating

like they’re one

and then you go and leave me

for Virgie

/ mbrazfieldm / 6 Comments

by the river

there’s a path

i bring her

coffee in the

morning and tell

her what the

day will task

at road’s end

i find her

home with little

dead flowers by

the door of

her secret world

no one sees

her no one

knows there are

many others that

walk through it

alone and never

say a single word

they smile and

sing and pray

the most melodious

and magic noises

from two toothless

lips do come

the black sparkle

in her eyes

uplifts the sting

in my own

pain as she

croons just for

me darlin’ never

lose your light

shroud

/ mbrazfieldm / 6 Comments

shroud

window at dusk

clove cigarette

clings between wet lips

diet coke

dangerously close to keyboard

sad tired eyes

the color of gypsy moss

blood trickles

from her nose

at times

thoughts bounce

like dandelion pappi

blown from the tiny lips of babes

and at times

an invisible pang

slightly electrically melancholic

in the middle of the chest

looking down to see

how people such as we

just all wander

on Spring street

she thinks with slightly damaged brain

do they see as i see

she feels the wounds of the mistaken

and soothes the misguided vigor of the innocent

the sweet sweat of gardenias

distract the ghost

locked in her heart

life becomes less ordinary

and so she sits to write

out the fabric of her soul

libertin lâche

/ mbrazfieldm / 5 Comments

kiss my cheek

lie to me

mercy given tonight

losing something

not mine

Sweet poison

sweet poison

one dishonest caress

i know

you’ll run

to her

raven beauty

young supple

mind big tits

and designer smile

it’s ok

i play the game

i’m banging

the green eyed philosopher

on Wilcox place

can we just be honest

it’s ok for me to say

i like sex

it’s ok

for you to have lady friends

as long were all cool with it

and take responsibility

of not spreading germs

or making sweet babies

to suffer in vain

i know i started off nice

life is not nice

but we can be nice

if that’s what we want

the philosopher knows

you know about him

it’s ok if you bring her

i like your touch a lot

love is for others

but not for my heart

4th grade

/ mbrazfieldm / 7 Comments

red sun walks down toward the water

little flecks of black move to and fro

it just birds ushering her red highness

to her nocturnal resting place

when i was a kid the other kids laughed

when i drew a picture of soft round hills

and the sun with long red locks and sea shell pink lips

they said the hills looked like asses

and my sun looked like a witch

i don’t recall feeling anything in particular

i just left the class and walked away

and now that i’m grown up

that memory comes and goes

and i wonder what happened to those kids

with no imagination at all

Becca’s ballad

/ mbrazfieldm / 11 Comments

yeah i’m still at the Gold Digger bar

past 4 am i party hard

slammin’ vodka laughin’ loud

jeans dirty scratched up arms

cigarettes all crushed and ground to the ground

i wear sweat socks with my heals

my man left me for a smack smoking whore

i’m pissed as hell and i don’t know my name

the welfare office cut off my game

during the day i beg for change

and once a month i take three trains

only to have my kids’ foster mom

cancel again

my daddy whupped me and put me on the streets

my momma left him but didn’t take me in

and the clean women from the west side

got a cold fire in their heart

at least my babies are fed

and i’m not crawlin’ on my knees

i guess i lost the social worker bet

the cops they picked me up on Tuesday

they said i was running in the street naked

i ran out of my calming pills

and my doctor said no more refills

it’s ok i understand my face’s a little dirty

my skin is really tan

the boils on my face

kinda’ turn you off

but it’s fine by me

my God above keeps watch

your stinging words against me

are flowers in my crown

i know my kids will grow up strong

and i did the best i could

the court judge calls me unresponsive

a cruel and evil ma’

he don’t know what happened

in Kentucky when i was a baby child

but it’s ok at least I have some common sense

i’d rather let my babies live

than drag them down with me

i never done nothin’ right in life

but i give thanks for my strength

and take pride in the pain

for you

/ mbrazfieldm / 7 Comments

may your health always be abundant

and if your heart goes on and skips a beat

may it be for raging glorious joy

and not caused by anger that you keep

i wish you all the gold and silver coins

that your pockets can absorb

and that your house be warm and stable

with no enemies at your door

may your children be strong and faithful

may they grow in the wisdom you provide

as they walk in your own footsteps

until the day of their own path arrives

may your hands always be filled with warmth and comfort

radiating from the hands of those who love you so

may you always have the blessings

from the One who guides your soul

Ryan Mountain

/ mbrazfieldm / 8 Comments

a young girl i was

when i drove to the desert

i took what Allen dropped

when he was young

like i was

the Joshua Trees

imperial yes they were

tall a strong dark green

some with arms bent up at the sky

which by the way Sky did rain on me

a supple velvety soothing rain

i slipped a little higher

the rocks they opened their slate stained eyes

and the he snake slithered from their underneath

the rain she smelled like new born clay

the vitality of her holy droplets

caused the birds and lizards to come alive

in a jubilant resurrection

at which time i had ten hands

but i could still see my cut up shirt

doused in the liquid of the day

me thinks Dylan Thomas and i could have made love

in dream of mercy a girl laughing with the crimson ants

and the ashy grasshoppers orchestrated with their legs

auditory melodious delight

the horizon a throne

golden

filled with blue angels

as i tilted my face toward the west

the Queen Sun released me into sedation

for Earl

/ mbrazfieldm / 5 Comments

Dear God

how are you

it’s me your creation i think

i was walking around the Skid

i felt afraid

i saw people laid out

and i noticed the pigeons

with missing little toes

feathers crushed and greasy

competing for food

i felt as if i was falling

up in a spiral a void

and the world laughed at me

chest beats hard dry mouth

look out i gotta run

and my feet became lead

30 pieces of silver

called anti-anxiety meds

Dear God

in the midst of my panic

an old black man

stood by me

you ok baby

you sho’ don’t belong heah’

then i cried and i sobbed

and i said i’m real sorry

he said is ok baby

lemme’ git you some hep’

the light it swirled

bullying me

but he was my rock

my Psalm eighteen