Poetry

private runt

/ mbrazfieldm / 10 Comments

another flame in the distance of a repetitious page

alarms my blood into a flow of fast thinking

she comes in the storm of her own pain

a slow thick fear the only match i have to counter

i now know not to longer linger by the crusted ashtrays

or lean on their solid walls of past injurious indiscretions

but rather crawl out of the darkness of the closet

a charming foxhole a Neverland of sorts with Barbies GI Joes

water colors and a one eyed teddy bear called Mike

after the storm lulls herself to sleep

and the lightening goes to some other town

to launch his cowardly thunder

we are all less than triumphant in dignity and resolution

and when all is calm the mirror under the storm

confirms that there is life yet

another successful recon mission

a blue awareness baptizes me

today i survived again

and am still breathing for a home

paging Dr. Burroughs, Dr. Burroughs please…

/ mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

WS i don’t feel that well tonight

       the stars are covered in dust and grime

and the corner store doesn’t have the Windex i like

    i’ve listen to Thelonius on Bluetooth

          and Ravel’s Bolero till the landlady came

to shut me up     it wasn’t even that loud

          i struggle Billy Bull Baby  i see you

  in dreams of course with your suits and balding

               beautiful head  but your brain really turned me on

  i’ve been going back and forth for three days whether i should           

                           go to Daikokuya’s for a ramen bowl but i just don’t have the gumption

             i think i’m depressed again  the tears run like Jesse Owens  and i have no interest in making

                                         them stop

W  im in head first in the Interzone of my own doing

                 for hours i sit on the kitchen counter

looking out for the little brown birds who eat the last

        pomegranates of the winter    and wonder where the

first half part of my life went             but i worry more

    that i have no specific certainty where my last half is                             

                             going

   can you read me a bed time story   my favorite is “Green Eggs

                 and Ham”     

work by mbrazfield 2001

7th eden

/ mbrazfieldm / 6 Comments

opening my eyes for the first time

the old 3rd street bridge is unrecognizable

it’s been a long 300 years since

i walked through here in my youth

when we had reached the peak of

refining weapons of mass destruction mostly us

my blue spirit spans from one end

to the other end of the tunnel

i appreciate nature’s knitted emerald life blanket

layered over you so tenderly melodious brook

the perfect Elysium reward for those soldiers

who laid down their generation defending you

sooty vestiges of city hall no longer

haunt the fledgling Eden i rejoice inside

as the trees speak a new creation

stones banks and plants sit in convocation

while they wait for the new children

Photo courtesy of Sue Vincent

peregrine

/ mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

desert you look very pretty in your tender green veil

it’s been a while since i was here visiting you

inner struggle and rebirth brought me to your boulder bosom

i see my brothers the Joshua Trees have gotten taller

therefore waving more lost children toward your safety dear friend

oh and the hares and wood peckers they still look

me over with caution and pity they sense my spirit

is still shackled in some ways but they are right

i’m just a human mother Joshua but how are you

i’ve brought you great news there will be rain later

this evening that rock you say yes that will be

good shelter the tiny lizard queen is a great hostess

the breath of your slate tinged skies is beginning to

smell like wet earth just like my grandmother’s hair when

as a babe i’d grab fistfuls and put it in

my mouth yet i don’t know how i can remember

her we were both too young when she had to

go up to the silver stars above my head oh

mother Joshua did you tell Oma to come and visit

there you see she’s the one next to Venus smiling

at me hey little ants get off my cake here

i’ll place it by your hill take it to your

queen my regards to her and now my eyes focus

to see the splendor of the ocotillo fire red blossoms

held up to the peacock sky and i breathe deeply

dear Hester

/ mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment

dear Hester i have to go keeping you has cost me a fortune worked my body down to bones selling my soul for you for one faint kiss and giving the devil iou’s was no good

i finally admit that your fingers and aura gently crept into my blood brook driving me to unfathomable pleasure only known by kings but when i couldn’t feed you more and more and more your anger at me was like a riptide

dear Hester you thrusted and thrashed my body against the anguish i caused others because i was a slave to you when you read this letter i will be rolling in it the unholy pain of heart break for having to let you go

fever itch spasm vomit crying out for air

as i sink into the black hole of my own doing because i thought you loved me

Hester i have to Hester don’t you understand don’t cry Hester you have offered me comfort and euphoric happiness when the world turned its back on me you never lied to me and you even let the nay sayers preach at me and how you were a no good harlot beast

but in exchange for your mirage like generosity i turned over my freedom to you i have a sickness Hester i have to keep running there’s a demon stronger than us Hester i have to leave

the time has come for emancipation from us three

my dear Hester

das lebewohl

Aaron

/ mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment

when our palms met

that balmy Chinatown night

a little lost canary

from the corner pet shop

sang a melancholic cord

switching his little face

from right to left

he looked at me

and flew away

i had fallen in love

the kind of love

that makes you scrutinize

your breath your weight and even your thoughts

the kind where

you leave your beloved

friends pets and dishes

behind just to think about him

the kind of love

that makes you check your phone

fifty times at two in the morning

you know the kind you lose

your soul to in the encasing darkness

and nothing feels the same

distilled death and i churn my spirit

but you danced with me

for a few years

you are no longer Aaron

i am no longer me

i don’t recognize my smile

its erased forever in your cusp

my heart has melted away in your hypocrisy

my common sense buried under your peach tree

and Aaron he no longer lives here

and i don’t recognize

the song of the canary anymore

soy la pesadilla

/ mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

nos guste o no

así soy

así naci

así me he desarrollado

salvaje en la ciudad

una mona sin fronteras

peleando con cualquiera

pero con mucho corazón

te invito a que me juzgues

sin pena

que me odies

y mi insultes

no me cambiara

y cuando los que más amaba

me entrenaron como un huracán

lo que ustedes me puedan lanzar es inútil

mis ojos son ciegos

no miro color nación tipo de sangre

no miro religión nivel de educación

ni con quien te acuestas

no miro si eres cruel ignorante narcisista

y claro para que mentir todos juzgamos

pero la diferencia entre yo y tu es que

yo proceso con mi corazón te dejo o te tomo

si tienes sed te ofrezco agua

si estas desalojado aquí está mi tierra

si tienes hambre te doy todo mi pan

si tienes frio te doy mi ropa

si estas sufriendo yo sufro contigo

si me golpeas me muero de risa

si me humillas te doy mi sonrisa

si me traicionas te extiendo mi alma

pero hermano con excepción

si quieres lastimar a un niño o al anciano

al que no puede defenderse o regresar la punada

con mi ira te vas a encontrar

no tengo opinión sobre política

las leyes existen

el orden existe

libertad condicional

pero nunca me pudiste

controlar y menos amargar

así soy yo

te dedico con amor y franqueza

todo lo que soy

a tus pies nunca me esperes

pero mi mano aquí esta

yo sé lo que soy

soy menos que nada

y el día en que necesites

aquí estaré lista para amar o luchar 






eu sou o pesadelo





goste ou não





sou assim





então eu nasci





foi assim que eu desenvolvi





selvagem na cidade





um macaco sem fronteiras





lutando com qualquer um





mas com muito coração





eu convido você a me julgar





sim pena





que você me odeia





e meus insultos





eu não vou mudar





e quando ele amou o mais





eles me treinaram como um furacão





o que você pode jogar em mim é inútil





meus olhos estão cegos





eu não olho tipo nação cor de sangue





eu não olho religião nível de educação





nem com quem você dorme





eu não olho se você é um narcisista cruel ignorante





e, claro, para nós mentirmos todos nós julgamos





mas a diferença entre eu e você é que





eu procuro com meu coração eu te deixo ou te levo





se você está com sede eu te ofereço água





se você é despejado aqui é minha terra





se você está com fome eu te dou todo o meu pão





se você está com frio eu te dou minhas roupas





se você está sofrendo eu sofro com você





se você me bater eu vou morrer de rir





se você me humilhar eu te dou meu sorriso





se você me trair eu estendo minha alma





mas irmão com exceção





se você quer machucar uma criança ou os idosos





quem não pode se defender ou devolver a punada





com a minha raiva você vai encontrar





eu não tenho opinião sobre política





as leis existem





a ordem existe





liberdade condicional





mas você nunca conseguiu





controle e menos amargo





eu sou assim





eu te dedico com amor e franqueza





tudo que eu sou





nunca espere por mim a seus pés





mas minha mão aqui é





eu sei o que sou





eu sou menos que nada





e o dia que você precisa





aqui estarei





pronto para amar ou lutar





i am the nightmare





like it or not





so i was born





here i am





this is how i developed





wild in the city





a monkey without borders





fighting with anyone





but with a lot of heart





i invite you to judge me





without shame





i know that you hate me





and insults





will not change me





and when those who i loved the most





trained me like a hurricane





so what you throw at me is useless





my eyes are blind





i do not see color nation or type of blood





i do not see religion or level of education





nor with whom you sleep





i do not see if you’re cruel ignorant or narcissist





and of course we all judge





but the difference between me and you is that





i process with my heart i leave you or i take you





if you are thirsty i offer you water





if you are evicted here is my land





if you are hungry i give you my bread





if you are cold i give you my clothes





if you are suffering i suffer with you





if you hit me i’ll die of laughter





if you humiliate me i’ll give you my smile





if you betray me i’ll extend my soul to you





but brother the exception





if you want to hurt a child or the aged





who can’t defend themselves or return the punch





to my anger you’ll respond 





i have no opinion on politics





the laws exist





the order exists





conditional freedom





but you never could





control me or make me bitter





that’s how i am





i dedicate to you with love and honesty





everything i am





never wait for me 





to fall at your feet





but here is my hand





i know what i am





i am less than nothing





and the day you need





i’ll be here





ready to love or fight





			

	


			
				


	

							
Seth 3: Christina’s rebuke
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / 5 Comments
								

			


		

		

Picture courtesy of Sue Vincent

 





the road she is cruel and with little respite





but i made it to Your house 





with the help of Ruach Elohim





i can raise my knuckles to Your door





and knock to be let in





YWHW this is your daughter





the mother of the boy 





who is now in your eternal care





i see his hands and eyes and smile





in the wild flowers waltzing on the ground





i traversed the firmament all this way





for You to look me in the face





and give me a reason 





because i’m only Your daughter





and i don’t know anymore





did You give Abraham his bosom 





from these stones that hold Your strength





my bosom is torn wide apart





forsaken forgotten and in pain





the glimmer in the joy of light





that showers Your front steps





no longer bring me comfort 





YHWH 





You and i know what love can be





we both sent our sons 





unto the world of man





but only Your’s came back

			

	


			
				


	

							
where did Opa go
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / 38 Comments
								

			


		

		

accordions were not of import to
me





until you were no longer there





the caramel and gray plaid
La-Z-Boy chair





sat gaping at the ceiling
wondering as i was





where did Opa go





we didn’t really talk no one
taught me how





instinctively you knew though





that i loved your oversized navy
blue trousers





and your red suspenders 





except for the lederhosen not my
style





regret burns hotter at night





while i sit silently on the
kitchen counter





alone in the dark sometimes with
pained wrists





and old cracked ribs dislocated
in my youth





sit along beside me good times





where did Opa go





time rippled down your face





porcelined and freckled





both by illness and by cure





you would stare at mom’s cat





as the din of Lawrence Welk 





seemed to echo from the corners
of the room





where did Opa go





remember when i was 13 





my socks were old and dingy 





five sizes too big 





and as you shook your head





you took out $50 from your wallet





and motioned me to get new socks





i just shrugged and smiled





turning my back on you 





Mutta’s fancy mirror 





stabbed me with 





your puzzled dewey face





at my ignorant rejection 





why did i let go 





Opa

			

	


			
				


	

							
it’s just a phase
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / Leave a comment
								

			


		

		

the drops fall warm 





like a resentful first kiss 





placed crookedly on my lips 





two broken children 





dressed in archaic cloaks of
sinful fathers 





embalmed in summer rain 





clasping hands in the park 





you pointed at fancy bricks laid
by FL Wright 





your hero 





we heard laughter from in the
trees 





we filled our heads with fantasy 





of being greater than dirty jeans






booze coke





and motorcycles 





what fools we were 





but happy in our foolery 





we’d stomp round town 





wild haired green eyed queen





to her mohawked crowned king





while in the dampness of the night 





we went our separate ways 





on the dimly lit corner by House of Pies





to harvest broken proper mothers 





up from their latest shag designer carpets 





flown in from Rome 





and as we punched our way through






explosive broken fathers





on Monday morning





we’d all pretend that our lives
were wonderful