Brahman

Taino although you’re not here anymore the Nirvana Arms still stand tall and even though our friendship was perplexing you taught me morality and how to see the goodness in the least expected people decency is at times not where we think it might or should be

And remember Waverly she’s a lawyer now but back then she was a lost kid we all hated you for calling the authorities on her folks for neglect although it was true we were mostly just tax exemptions religious guilt rescue pregnancies and a terrific pain in the ass to them but you saw us as diamonds in a very rough and unjust place

I learned how to walk in heels layer foundation insert a tampon and fill out job applications because of you and you sat me down to explain why i shouldn’t take my life all the while inside you were already dying against your will

No one came to say goodbye to you not even me and all i could think about was how you tore me away from rapists on Werdin Place and held me tight after the cops came never judged the look of my veins and gave me compassion at levels that until this day it’s so hard to take

Once in a while i see a strawberry blond wig at the Goodwill and smile or at Walgreens the cheap acrylic nail kits you were fond of tug at my very soul at Macy’s the tropical prints you admired and honored me in choosing for you and when we got into trouble and the hoosegow loomed in our future you were always a father and when needed for love advice calling off the school vice squad or a tender non judgmental kick in the ass you were always our mother

Toviscangna

20190504_184043.jpg
Artist: Kira

sun

stroking

my back

train is coming

across the tracks slowly

the songs of birds echoed

as i fell seven feet deep across the

mountain where the red tail hawk she greeted me with a gown of platinum jade and jasper and in her sigh  

a woman mounted on Pegasus came to bless me she said to me the kingdom came and here we have the honorable nine dancing maidens whose Queendom we will share with you our guest

i raised my arms in disbelief and asked to be transported to the Southwest Museum where i was going the hawk she swooped and lifted me to show me the holy fields of rapture

we can arrange to take you back said the little maiden with tail of gold but we ask for a favor

you and your clan we hope respect the

remains of our sacred ancestors

i nodded yes and

in a flash

woke up

in

Toviscangna

un Tango

calma

se va

azul adentro de

mi

corazón que

late por ti

las

luces juguetonas

me llevan perdida

se

ríen de

mi dando pasos

circulares

buscando salida

de tu prisión




um tango

calma

vai azul

dentro meu coração

que

bate por

você o luzes

brincalhonas

eles me

levam perdido isso

eles

riem meus

passos tomando circular

procurando

saída da

sua prisão


a Tango

calm

it goes

blue inside my

heart

that beats

for you the

playful

lights they

take me lost

they

laugh at

me taking circular

steps

looking for

an exit from

your prison

2 steps

drift to sleep

under the hazy sky

blue cowboy boots

laying down in my truck

Twinkie crumbs

on the corners of my mouth

my left braid coming undone

the memory comes in chunks

hope to sleep

under a halogen light

no shoes or socks

stuffed into the couch

kale smoothie

not on my tongue

my mane’s too tame

the thoughts torn asunder

pedagogy of me

some would argue
that i am the last
kind that God created
out of Adam’s
dick bone.

for i understand
most other males
of other species
still have their
carnivore baculum.

i thought i was his rib,

but that is just sugar
coating the situation

in ignorant eyes i’m just a cunt.

i think about these
things by Los Angeles
Street and 4th because
i don’t know what else
can help all of “this”.

every wino and every whore
had to have had love at some
point maybe from the nurse
or taxi driver at their
birth.

do others think of my
thoughts i try to hold
still in my brain i
don’t mean to let them
slither through my ear holes.

i blurt them out

they are at times bitter

and at other times full of

gasps and groans

searching for a heart to land in.

i drank the smoke and
regurgitated the fire
in the middle of the night
as the alleys turn into banks
of sulfur piss fog.

while the vomit runs
like manna, i protest

at the top of my lungs

the safety patrol giggle

while they ticket me two times.

we rob Mary Magdalene to pay

Delilah and keep her

quietly sedated with plastic jewels

my life blood drained

on an untender pavement.

and as the morning comes
i cower against the
insurmountable dubious
truths of the moment

in time cruelly here now.

the sarcoptes on my legs

linger in the first class

of my thighs waiting

for my lunch with the

army of the disposables.

plastic bags filled

with bitter scraps

of trash posing as

life precious moments

fading like my mind.

those in the name

of holy begrudge

what they do but

do it out of

indentured servitude.

i float again
towards the banks
of grotesqueness

defeated whispers

some broken bones.

but Our Lady tolls at 3 p.m.

the lions returned

to the lofty lair

my right fist level to my eyes

my left catapulted at injustice.









F43.23

the meager fist weakly swings at the face of unknown beast its always pathos in the middle of the ring high noon comes and no one yawns in excitement alas the night she enters the stage in my mind and the coliseum fills with eager patrons waiting for my show when the torments in my head become high end commodity at dawn washing the bruises off with rye found in the gutters i slip into my expat suit and hit the road with my naked feet because the convergence of the quantums weighs heavy on my soul

for Anthony Bourdain and me

contact high

your fingers in my mouth

last night

your grey eyes pierce

the defense

green eyes beg for mercy

fingers palms around my breasts

your lips have sealed

my arguments

the weight of your command

over me while my legs lock you in

nothing about us

is so simple

while our breathes spar under the stars

the waves have chosen sides

an angry surge and im on top

but your hands clutch my hips

ive fallen under your rhythm

studying the pleasure on my face

rolling like the ocean

you gain command of the tautness

of my body

denying me nirvana by the shore

the traces of urgency on your wrinkled brow

are buried in my tangled hair

fingers locked in final battle

we come to a mutual agreement

Aurelio

with a gardenia

in your laborer’s hand

you placed the flower

upon her feet

from way behind in the

cool church i went to

think about my

troubles with DMV

a broken AC

a splintered hair

you bowed your head

to reach into a

thread bare breast pocket

and in between your

crackled thumb and

arthritic finger

emerged a picture

of your bye-gone

grand daughter

the miracle of faith

leapt in my heart

sometime in an August

Asa who laid in the Panhandle with me you strung out on love i on wild chemistry from around the Tenderloin Asa who lent me his Walkman for Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters as i stared into the night sky higher than our hangout on Coit Tower Asa who was ecstatic when we shared stories about the boys we kissed at the Trocadero on Wednesday nights as i cried when you told me your fate Asa you with your toothy smile biting my cherry Danish as you took off the shirt from your back to cover all of my track marks when the workers came to take you away to your mother’s place in silence and all i could do for you Asa was stand as the ambulance pulled away