pedagogy of me

some would argue
that i am the last
kind that God created
out of Adam’s
dick bone.

for i understand
most other males
of other species
still have their
carnivore baculum.

i thought i was his rib,

but that is just sugar
coating the situation

in ignorant eyes i’m just a cunt.

i think about these
things by Los Angeles
Street and 4th because
i don’t know what else
can help all of “this”.

every wino and every whore
had to have had love at some
point maybe from the nurse
or taxi driver at their
birth.

do others think of my
thoughts i try to hold
still in my brain i
don’t mean to let them
slither through my ear holes.

i blurt them out

they are at times bitter

and at other times full of

gasps and groans

searching for a heart to land in.

i drank the smoke and
regurgitated the fire
in the middle of the night
as the alleys turn into banks
of sulfur piss fog.

while the vomit runs
like manna, i protest

at the top of my lungs

the safety patrol giggle

while they ticket me two times.

we rob Mary Magdalene to pay

Delilah and keep her

quietly sedated with plastic jewels

my life blood drained

on an untender pavement.

and as the morning comes
i cower against the
insurmountable dubious
truths of the moment

in time cruelly here now.

the sarcoptes on my legs

linger in the first class

of my thighs waiting

for my lunch with the

army of the disposables.

plastic bags filled

with bitter scraps

of trash posing as

life precious moments

fading like my mind.

those in the name

of holy begrudge

what they do but

do it out of

indentured servitude.

i float again
towards the banks
of grotesqueness

defeated whispers

some broken bones.

but Our Lady tolls at 3 p.m.

the lions returned

to the lofty lair

my right fist level to my eyes

my left catapulted at injustice.









F43.23

the meager fist weakly swings at the face of unknown beast its always pathos in the middle of the ring high noon comes and no one yawns in excitement alas the night she enters the stage in my mind and the coliseum fills with eager patrons waiting for my show when the torments in my head become high end commodity at dawn washing the bruises off with rye found in the gutters i slip into my expat suit and hit the road with my naked feet because the convergence of the quantums weighs heavy on my soul

for Anthony Bourdain and me

contact high

your fingers in my mouth

last night

your grey eyes pierce

the defense

green eyes beg for mercy

fingers palms around my breasts

your lips have sealed

my arguments

the weight of your command

over me while my legs lock you in

nothing about us

is so simple

while our breathes spar under the stars

the waves have chosen sides

an angry surge and im on top

but your hands clutch my hips

ive fallen under your rhythm

studying the pleasure on my face

rolling like the ocean

you gain command of the tautness

of my body

denying me nirvana by the shore

the traces of urgency on your wrinkled brow

are buried in my tangled hair

fingers locked in final battle

we come to a mutual agreement

Aurelio

with a gardenia

in your laborer’s hand

you placed the flower

upon her feet

from way behind in the

cool church i went to

think about my

troubles with DMV

a broken AC

a splintered hair

you bowed your head

to reach into a

thread bare breast pocket

and in between your

crackled thumb and

arthritic finger

emerged a picture

of your bye-gone

grand daughter

the miracle of faith

leapt in my heart

sometime in an August

Asa who laid in the Panhandle with me you strung out on love i on wild chemistry from around the Tenderloin Asa who lent me his Walkman for Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters as i stared into the night sky higher than our hangout on Coit Tower Asa who was ecstatic when we shared stories about the boys we kissed at the Trocadero on Wednesday nights as i cried when you told me your fate Asa you with your toothy smile biting my cherry Danish as you took off the shirt from your back to cover all of my track marks when the workers came to take you away to your mother’s place in silence and all i could do for you Asa was stand as the ambulance pulled away

a las 3:37 a.m.

a noche soñé contigo

sentí me rostro en tu

pecho muy masculino

y tu corazón latía

como un tango

cuando abrí mis ojos

desangraban lagrimas

de pena abandonada

me toque a si misma

buscando el ardor

del placer que una vez

me brindabas

cerré mis ojos y la

tristeza me tomo

de mi mano y fui

en sueños a los

infiernos del rechazo


às 3:37 a.m.

eu sonhei com você à noite

eu senti meu rosto na sua

peito muito masculino

e seu coração estava batendo

como um tango

quando abri meus olhos

eles estavam sangrando lágrimas

de tristeza abandonada

eu me toco

procurando o ardor

do prazer que uma vez

você me ofereceu

eu fechei meus olhos e

tristeza eu levo

da minha mão e eu fui

em sonhos para o

infernos de rejeição


at 3:37 a.m.

i dreamed about you last night

i felt my face on your

very masculine chest

and your heart was beating

like a tango

when i opened my eyes

they were bleeding tears

of abandoned grief

i touched myself

looking for the ardor

of the pleasure that you

once offered me

i closed my eyes and the

sadness took me

by my hand and i went

in dreams to the

infernos of rejection

tufts

trees blink allowing the weepy sun to pock the ground round the valley the hares brown and gray with little tan lizards checking out the wheels stuck in the mud walking around and away from my folks i find the skeletons of creatures grown old waiting in peace not knowing how curious i am to touch the tufts of fur left on their bleached bones the air sleeps and doesn’t caress my hair but i don’t mind being more wild than it for a change

two forests

as i followed the silver mist

i could not understand it was her voice

and the voice of the others in their

cocktail dresses

lyrically they laughed in a quasi celestial choir

while they clinked their martini glasses

she accounted the times after the war

running barefoot through Spandauer Forst

and feeling the twigs between her toes

her eyes welled up recounting her Vaters joy

flicking her red hair back in a proud swoosh

she reached for the vodka bottle

Sinatra hung above their shoulders

and nodded me into my room

little green eyes fell unto the carpet

“ja Mutti” trembled out

i woke up to the pounding of first

responders on my neighbor’s heart

on the corner of 5th and Wall

pink spider love


the tendons in my arms

sense of falling up

pangs and hisses

hole in the walls

beyond the sill

pigeons puff in heat

summer i feel

of the spinning axis

loss of sense no thoughts

just empty glass after empty glass

bumps on the gooses i think i think

looking up hanging down from the window

i think im Spiderman

woman that’s me

turn on my water works

over who

last one for the road

yes you hurt me

one toke full glass

new chance

i want to get off

now

those gray eyes

you’re passed out

on the bed made by

the leaders of example past

i remain standing

questionable victory

in this battle of the sexes

physics, interrupted

the apple trees died last winter sitting on the front porch watching the bird bath go green with time’s CO2 no apples no birds they went away forever until three years from now it’s times like this when i think of Dr. Hawking and his warning to Geneva in a most conventional way we don’t know what we don’t but we know we shouldn’t  but still we do being made in His image what does it mean when we create in tubes surpassing victor frankenstein shriveled are the avenues showered in teeny asteroids that take our minds to the false heaven while we float in our own shit and we land hard but we won’t cure cancer and while the pipelines feed our need to ride free man i mean really free at what cost and my wild beasts are wild no more floating away on sheets of ice as seen on tv on the front porches of the brownstones on Union Avenue  i miss the apples