dysmorphic algorithm

February 24, 2019February 21, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

sometimes in life things happen to the person that makes them hate God.

sometimes one person who knows it all will meet the person who hates God.

the knowledgeable person will tell the hateful person that they are not doing things right in the eyes of the Lord. in the knowledgeable person’s mind, the hateful person’s life is fucked up because the person is hateful.

sometimes the knowledgeable person does not know what the hateful person can and can’t do. and doesn’t bother to ask, because they know it all.

sometimes knowledgeable people don’t understand that some hateful people are handed a bad package that takes a life time to process.

sometimes the self-righteousness of one person will not allow them to see that the hateful person can’t serve God the way the self-righteous person wants them to.

sometimes the hateful person will turn the world away because they are ashamed by their inability to serve the way the self- righteous person wants them to.

sometimes neither person stops to pray.

bc

February 23, 2019February 23, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

before the waters rose

the sands blew

and the mountains became a womb

the sun stars moon

saw your face

marveling at God

for His foundation

in the eye of perpetuity

her

February 23, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

the fat of the land has dried into grime

mere clots of spit and mire

under her instant foot in the vomit of the day

the sour milkiness of death’s redolence at night

grabbing at the air grabbing at the sights of

those who have always been there and those

who are to come

shifting in the seas of traffic lights

half-moon eyes bloody in the tides

of discarded discontent

the wind howls on the sills of justice

kissing painfully the wounds on her hand

as puckered resentful coins hiss at her disposition

the wheels of the gods grind on

and her island there waits

the laughing air and the scornful heat

injures her every pore; her pancaked gowns threadbare

smiling at the visions only seen by those who know

the devil and the angels roaming up and down the hill of somber perfection

host to condemnation of heavy hearted posts

vigilant to nothing

in the bell jars of our age

nothing ferments nothing grows

the heart in her breaks the barrier

knowing that she will see some light

the golden days have passed onto a future

waiting there like cats

old castles for her flowers and her stars

beauty melting unto asphalt

a stairway opens up with gems of cardboard

sprigs of wasted love litter her alcove

she lays her head to rest

suikaddish

February 23, 2019February 21, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

do black holes exist or are they something i read about in a comic book? are those beautiful pictures of nebulas shaped like crabs and other creatures that i see in the science magazines real? how can i know for sure that this very night i am walking home? how can i know for sure that i am walking back to a home and that i will get there? can a black hole, if it is real snatch me up? would it think i am important? does it matter what religion scientists are? does it matter what i believe? does God want me? do i want God to want me? if i give and give and give will it make a difference? is it better to take and take and take? is my smile enough to save a dying life? my own? if i am sad is it bad? am i broken in an unfixable way? can i benefit from anything modern? am i too late for anything old? did i ever make love? do i have control over any war? do i have control over any deficit? do i reward bad and punish good? if i reward bad on earth and punish good on earth, will the bad go to hell and the good to heaven? why can i not explain what i know? is that bad? is dreaming bad? did Gabriel pinch my lips together? or did i just get punched on the mouth? should i talk? should i judge? would that make me a better person? am i compassionate? is there a time and a place for everything? what did my mother raise? did she have a hand at molding me? why do i like what i like? why do i like what i don’t like anyway? do i contribute to my perdition? am i good? does anyone think of me? do you?

Haiku for Nina

February 21, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

Priestess of the notes

the strongest Goddess i know

voice delivered truth

to William S Burroughs

February 21, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

in the cosmos
there’s always a math.
one vein to feel it all.
at the Bowery something started,
a nest for a vulture’s egg
that saved a world.
beloved that you are to many
more who can receive.
pain can come to anyone
i know you and you know me.
time at the tip of a barrel.
time at the tip of a pen.
can you see through the
fog of eternity and the sands
in the raw?
so vulnerable and delicate
to love of no despair.
one more tonic for the body
at last my love can rest.

coming of age

February 19, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

gravel crunches underfoot

trees wave their lofty branches

a quiet rainy morning

winds talk through wild baby hairs

fingers reach to grasp the hand

of the teacher pall bearer

noting silence in the throat

lightning swiftness in the gait

knuckles bursting from the skin

betwixt right now and ever

the breeze states through woman locks

sorely peering through the glass

explicit emotions exploding through the tongue

knowing she is scarcely done

in walking through her wreckage

i am mad at God

February 19, 2019 / mbrazfieldm / Leave a comment

i am mad at God
for making me a fool
for using my stupidity
and evil deeds against
myself

i am mad at God
because He loves me
in a way that i can never
love all these creatures
around me

i am mad at God
for He laughs at me
in a loving way as He
kicks my ass when i
fuck up

i am mad at God
for keeping score
to a game that i will never
win

i am mad at God
and in spite of my
silly lip quivering
and monkey manipulations
He waits with hand
extended for me to
climb