Betrayal

scalding schema

/ mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments
mbrazfieldm (c) 2025

years buried deep within the flesh of my eyes
but here we are
what can our relation be
the snows of ruin set atop my head
a mere empty mausoleum nursing images of the atrocities committed to a soul
and still you gaze up at nothing with such devoted stare
a foundling am i to you instead
what to say to stave off the pain of the roads ive dared to wander
yes into your eyes id smile and say no one will ever hurt you again
words a cocktail of anesthesia a wonderland never to reveal itself
my name for you is kid
i am your shadow your scout your secret service slave
kid you will never be alone again but the poison runs too deeply in my veins
good intentions this time will drive us both to a new and improved hell
where the earth is windy with dirt

347e

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mbrazfieldm(c) 2020

the thoughts of the sounds you make your face in pain your eyes ash gray grow like wild honey suckle vines outward from the insides of my composting heart

look she says can i get a break today my blood borrowed by thirteen murder scenes lined up coming from my vocal chords ready for the gate to fall

i know the demons they feed well from me the prescription don’t eat before the range or you’re gonna get rotted rice and peas rolling down your caved in chest

the elders said before you were set free to the prison this would be caution daughter and sons your fathers were  heavy into maleficent fun be advised that their sins you’ll be liquidating

generic chp. 8

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it’s the little poisons she thought as he spoke about trials foisted upon him as a child by the needs of selfishness and delirious desires of unbridled women his skin pocked with stab wounds stitched up in classic county hospital overworked student staff he groaned in self pity he’d forgotten why he was there in the first place we spoke for 23 minutes more then parted as patient and professional

generic chp. 2

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upon arriving to the designated meeting place she saw her there, a slump of pain encased in ancient royal flesh filled with torment and cheap hooch. alas her man had died. she regrets thinking that he was  fucking another whore, when in reality he bestowed upon her his last gasping grunts.

tired

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mbrazfield (c) 2024

im tired of speaking into empty eyes
vacant hearts longing thighs
im exhausted bogged down in wasted time
hoping the music box lies from your crooked mouth would be divine intervention
im sorry for being
absolutely in horror of understood you
for this makes me an accomplice to your betrayal of who i was
not only was the writing on the walls the smoke signals in the sky
but the very Gabriel yelled into my sighs of despair giving me warning
tonight im tired more than i will ever be
the angels are chasing me
something is afoot
they leave me spray painted prophecy

porra, papai

/ mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment
mbrazfield (c) 2024

some days were sad gray uneventful
most days were brutal confusing painful
rarely did we need or want to smile
the looks the words the anger the hate the ridicule the shame the blame the abandonment
marching on in my head time middle fingered me on my knees crawling on the tarmac of the road to hell paved with no intention
Mutter turned her head like a queen in agreement
i could not comprehend
where do i make sense
papai misguided man
leading dragging his daughter
slaughter wood chipper of life
but i’m grown now
your dice followed you to where you went
my words hushed heaven will never live here anymore Gehenna had bought the country
healing compassion empathy sympathy turning of the cheeks fasting sacrificing keeping score patronizing scarification complete spirit annihilation
i was never meant to be your Issac

struggling with love

/ mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

ive reduced life to see and keep
watching those outside of me
wandering through the forests of the street
i wandering but knowing my truth
keeping in time with the breath of us
i walk watch look down and teach
myself to bury it all in
like the subway at five
the scents of dust and gasoline
transport me to my early youth and years
when primordial rules of procreation haunted my womb
but there were no takers in the battle
as nights unraveled in perplexity
and days ended in sullen tragedy
no options left amid the fields of nothingness
now a mother to my years i orphaned most of them
walking away from normalcy into the mouth of modern beast who struggles with love for me