pain

clouds linger high
we scale pavement
smiling faces grimace
yielding random thoughts
suplications gambles distraught
splendid sun bright
shadows between walls
dark with secrets
ghosts of yesterdays
progress thwarted suddenly
we but flowers
beating hearts love
hands create endlessly
civilization goes on
children delight wonderfully
men are themselves
women articulate negotiations
i say go
no will hangs
inside my soul
life looks good
my squint permanent
faith bottomless ahead
we look together
rationalizing lovingly quietly
in collective thought
together yet alone

on becoming an angel

mbrazfield (c) 2024

night always at night my mind wanders seeking shelter in fantasy of golden palm trees and crystal blue waters
day everyday my brain drags on a few synapses tell me to move out of the way before somebody knives me
night long drawn out my gut churns mouth waters reminiscing on mommas apple cobbler and the sweet cinnamon scent of her apron as i held her
day bright from sunny sky as i stand in line styrofoam tray pre wrapped subs carton of milk served by shaming eyes that pity me
night the thirsty dark i hear war cries grunts deep gurgles women sobbing a junkie last breath
day with hint of rhythm oozing out from stands on the rainbow flower vendors block Smokey Robinson was my guy
night twinkles with pookie pipes bic lighters and trash bin fires i notice star parallels in the sky milky way shavings and rogue morning stars
day depending on the block my sights may fall on sleeping babes cradled by loving arms or come upon the sight of a Coroner’s tent with one less soul inside

pookie pipes

on most nights
after the good girls have gone to bed
i remain in the bastard streets
of the fancy conniving boulevard
a priest of sorts a mother to them all
a bandage a kind word a gift card to Subway a needle a pamphlet
on every corner a hefty dose of Narcan
on most days i wonder
“what will i see today”
a corpse a hooker a business man
perhaps a Hilton or a Kardashian
my reflection on a tarnished metal sheet stretches my eyes down
it streamlines my cheeks
i flush and quickly leave
the phone rings
needed now on 7th street
when a little kid i was
Broadway was the place to be
Bruce Lee double features
before the Mexican Bs poured out
from the silver sheets mariachi trumpets and cock fights
the arcade and Arab jewelry shops
the old men speaking Yugoslav
fighting over parking spots
those were my early days
it’s about 4:36 am heading on foot
to Pershing square
the tamale vendors begin to stake
a corner with the most gabacho laborers
the scents and stenches
the city moaning itself to rise
i midwife the rising baby sun
sitting on the retainer walls
of Angels Flight
noticing a stash of pookie pipes
glistening in the runoff
of the Angelino fading starlight
it’s time for coffee and a jaunt
to Werdin Alley where i collect
the ticker tape prophecies in my mind
of what i will encounter later
in the nightmares of my night

como las muchachas

la dulcura de tu cuerpo
finalmente me mato
por las noches ciega por la fogata
camino sin orientacion
ciega por las calles locas
mis ojos cerrados miran
mi alma morir  una vez mas
con cada suspiro de la luna
el la selva de la Broadway
despues de la media noche
las animas de las muchachas
salen a bailar
como si fuera 1942
con sus peinados y labios llenos
de vacio infernal

wednesday at the fire escapes

mbrazfield (c) 2023

silence stares from the insides
of the old pile of sticks
on some mornings there’s the smell
of Cuban coffee and always
the stench of dying kidneys
on the streets
we shiver and sweat together
only appropriate credentials
get to play the martyrs
Desi yells at Lucy
at the exact moment the gates of hell
have broken loose
we all just hapless renegades
begging for a push
and even though it’s hard to walk
within our modern tomb
we postpone the end of life
one alveoli at a time

drowning

mbrazfield (c) 2023

a simple glance across the freeway
is nothing just blindness
i see them feathered creatures flying
full of methane and chewing gum
enough today so i only cried
tragic for us not having
sweet sorrow of missing we won’t know
urchins us all
we walk the music in our head
outspoken messages are
the voices in disturbia drown
flowers are unique grown in farms
across the stars fertile ground
pregnant with disease and poverty
bundled flowers of sun’s tinted roses
blushing hepatitis bud
rabbit holes he said won’t go
i count only numbers for the bosses
you will dole out the splintered crosses
a glance from LA across the bridge
work i need to stay
hold her exhausted hand
offer tissue packs
drying rain
drowning

LA words

to me i write a poem
skipping the puddles in my canvas shoes
red they are street named Chucks
to me this life i’ve witnessed most of all
their pain  our pain my pain
drown we do in hopes that rot like afflicted blossoms
there are the rainbows in the gutters of the street
blessings aplenty there are in the depth of her misery
and butterflies kiss a starving stomach’s lining
to me i write a poem
a ribbon around my thumb
a raw thought in a muted mind
that wanders through a path
underneath the alley where the windows are boarded up
and we name it progress
the corner where i turn
there are no vision quests
Braves are gone perhaps just a celluloid memory
today i write a poem
tomorrow i won’t know
existence here is very subtle
determine in the concrete night
that for the now i stand in moonlight
and midwife the sound of my words

mbrazfield (c) 2023

she stares back

she stares back
bold strong ferocious
history upon history
of countless hearts
whispers in brick
yearnings in mortar
cracks in silence

to have known
souls long ago
proper in poverty
hidden behind threat
fear of starvation
ghosts in abundance
moonlight is scarce

mbrazfield (c) 2021