of us lost angels

photo by Rob Banks 2021

promises are like water to me

for you they quench temporarily

all that i fear for you and us

like the thirst of the dying

i can stop making promises

that i won’t agonize over the shit disease insanity violence and utter hell that we both see

we can compromise and believe

that there will be promises of better life

like we will plant flowers

but they might not smell like roses

as the smell of decay clings

promises can be multi everything

disciplinary lateral purpose conscience

promises are sugar and wine

rat poison

one daft note fleeting in the wind

a fart or love

i can’t tell where we are going

or how to get on this new road

let’s not make promises anymore

let’s just stay eye to eye

let’s just see what i will do

how i will move and act and love and lose

i refuse to promise that i will not turn the other way

if you don’t promise that you will make this inferno go away

i will say that i can accept my heart broken

and that when the camera flashes your way

remember that humility diligence and hard work are the better red carpet accessory

for you

our queen of us lost angels

clay between the ashes

mbrazfield (c) 2021

to think that beyond shadows
a sun glows she dressed in gold
swatting at her lover heaven
sending radioactive flares of hot love

to think that behind those shadows
i sit silent staring at the calmness
of poppy blossoms along the hills
while the shadows shield a chaos

to think that beneath the shadows
are my remains that partake
in the Maker’s infinity loop
of clay between the ashes

i smell salt

warm soft sand
breeze rippled smiles
across the mounds
wispy grasses
i smell salt
the seaweed that comes to shore
lends substance to the air
cotton candy fluff like
is the wind that rides tonight
soaring all of my prayers to the sky
where to diamond stars they’re delivered
and where the earth and sleepy she sun meet
they kiss releasing beams of orange glee
closing my eyes
i move my arms and adjust my heart
facilitating peace that finds me

cloister

twinkling moths scurry from the bulb
carefully knit filigree cobweb
as an exclusive lampshade  serves
they bounce and leap
a circus extravaganza
in the colors of night
old houses chipped wood
smell of old books and history
then there’s the really busy moths
with patterned powder wings
the beautiful ones
gathered up in a bouquet
innocently placed
by the spider’s gothic cloister

philharmonic

tonight
i will not settle
for chords
electrically or naturally strummed
nor radios or streaming services
i shall not partake
of what you have created
Tesla dear
tonight
i am happy with the cutting of the air
watermelon slicing sounds
of the ceiling fans
or the cricket
dressed in green and brown velvet
chirping at my cat
tonight the city bred howls of coyotes
at 11:43 PM
is what i want to hear
maybe i might decide to cut up pictures and squoosh a paint brush full of podge unto my board
the dowry for the clipping that will marry it before Fall
tonight i want to hear the groans of pleasure and of pain
rise up from sewer pipes and circulate out of the city drain
my curiosity will sustain
an unknown hunger
that causes me to sit
ever so corpse like still
and hear the birds
crackling the dried leaves
of the tree trunk lobby
during their intermission
while attending
their own mourning dove
cooing philharmonic


Taino el de abajo

the room is sterile

free from any love germ

only the tiny beasts of whatever

perfect in nature are adored here

in this sterile cold dry room

my gut told me

“She passed.”

referring to the death of an aunt

i hardly knew

i don’t feel grief

not yet

and

as i explained to my-self

some people might never feel it

to mourn loss is difficult

to mourn loss of a loved one is hard

to mourn for and carry a heavy heart for an enemy

is tougher

i don’t feel such loss for the masculine things in life

as i do for the feminine

to have had a physical mother

never to have experienced an emotional mother

or spiritual mother

has been loss

yielding veils of survival

darning lies as i went along

because for this ride

you must be tough

to have had to rip my addiction demons

from me without a cowboy’s hickory stick

to bite on

while all of Murphy’s laws

chose to shred themselves

has left a raw gaping hole

in my crippled soul

yet there is a certain life-long journey

a chipping away of the spirit

the grief polishes

nearly to transparency and vulnerability

that fake shine as seen on t.v.

we can certainly fight

for all our lives

against this erosion

but we will not win

in my age

i can now see

the entirety of who Taino was

what he meant to me

i could not

in my youth

see that deeply yet

*dedicated to Jose Montoya POET

purple moon Hendrix

mid day liquor store
sun ablaze wearing gold dress
i sit on milk crate smoking break
from unemployed day
boys girls tourists from Detroit
camera filters flashes and lens
they think im something
but im really nothing more than
a puffer of rings up the sky
beside two buildings
average thoughts baseball innings
hamburger helper bowls
gas prices and cheap strip shows
when they bore of shiny Hollywood
back to hotels and premeditated meals
my arms crossed behind my head
laying on fire escape
conversing with blue moon’s older sister purple moon Hendrix

finally relieved

my sister later said
that when mother left
the tears on her velvet cheeks
were like lily petals
time has passed
on most days when
i notice myself in the mirror
memories of her voice and sorrow
crowds my day 
by eve’s time
sitting alone on the porch
some plump flying angel
will rustle up the honey suckle
and a vision of mother i can feel
quiet resting finally relieved