
processing. u


Belinda said i need to book transport to the breath doctor on account i got the lung disease
her voice an angry lament
Belinda said they brung me the oxygen tank then put that shit in my house so i can breathe but they don’t show me how to use it
throat raspy like secondhand pea coat wool
Belinda said she’s mad and she’s gonna call her counselor to take care of me
long polished nails the hue of dried nosebleed red pluck at her Obama phone screen and my phone beeps
Belinda remembered you is my counselor you bitch

just one day
enough to sniff
the air around
said Mary
one night more
to tell them
i love them
wept Mary
i see birds
in the clouds
where the sun
pauses Mary
looks at me
with golden eyes
away i walk
gasped Mary

Harry is from Cincinnati a failed Jack of all
Jill grew up in Amarillo
dish water blonde with cheap expensive tastes
Harry’s folks were working class
dad the pool hall alcoholic
mom hid hers in the laundry shed
back then Harry said we lived barely enough
by Sugar Hill between the parks
my paw a union man scraping for our meals
Jill watched his lips as the story wore
she’d look at me and snarl a bit
Harry said it’s a genetic tic
i puffed away on bidis and cloves
Jill kept her pain and her hatred deep in her soul
offering a place to stay to rest her bruised head
Harry spoke up and said ‘we ok’
her eyes caught the rat scampering across
the laundry she washed in the back of the lot
Jill turned away from our talk
Harry said Jill and i we’ll go for a walk
come again tomorrow and i’ll reconsider your deal
but right now she’s got to deliver
i know it’s not right so don’t judge me bad
if she don’t like the life i give her
Jill is free to depart anytime
this is who we are
it’s not very much
Jill looked to the west stretching her arms
reaching out toward the brick wall
pulled out her pipe and started to smoke
Harry looked down with shame in his eyes
my clipboard is packed i’ve nothing to speak

the damp cold of the night
stuck to faces like wet tissue paper
in the alley where we smoked
being cool knowing all
i saw the flicker
invisible the signal
i shrugged it off
as too much alcohol
just the same
the flicker was there
tiny sparks of anguish
her eyes flashed
like wings on fireflies
then she slept
i took some steps
toward her head was brick
vomit eulogized the space
shoes torn and taped simultaneously
her wig tarry straw
7 of her fingernails fungused raw
morbid were my thoughts
approaching her in wonder
sounds escaped here and there
from her cavernous mouth
two lips as if she wore black licorice
upstairs above us
a hipster whistled
dark is the night he tweeted
the holy 18:28 she repeated
both bowed our heads to the flicker of our fate

near the exits she stalls
pondering how to leave
the halls are all she’s known
selling pussy causing brawls
she says in sobbing whispers
before reporting to dad
i’m too old for this journey
legs bruised lips split by the cops
she mouthed off while raising her fists to the sky
then a shooting took over
so they let her off
with a warning that judged her
deep in her soul
later come problems
with bottles of booze
her daddy just told her
go visit Bruce
she stops at the station
to clean up her thighs

i like to watch a woman eat
so much of the female fate
deciphered by her rhythmic jaws
i like to watch her chew her food
she is grateful for the bounty
of the bite she thanks
her Jesus in her thoughts
i like to watch her throat roll down
the morsels of her offerings
sliding down to nourish
the body that will surely
have to fight again
It was cold for the city today. Cold like the first time your palm touches a beer from a cooler. Tuesday around Pershing. Kicking around cigarette butts I look around hoping I can figure it out. The sky is gun gray so are the prospects of the tent city by the children swings. One lone chubby security guard swipes at his phone. Oblivious.
Love is the hardest thing to think about. The thought of it is frightening to me. To them who dwell, and hustle love is crystal clear.
She is there with a pink metal suitcase. The pink pops betwixt the stains of dried blood, chili, and grime. She wears a broken cowboy hat and underneath a matted polyester wig. I’m not sure what to have called the color. Across bent body a poncho, crispy looking like KFC clotted with dirt and hysterical indifference.
From the banana plants steps out a man thin with skinny fingers and yellowed fingernails which at a closer look were filled with black dirt underneath. An unholy French manicure. As he reached in to hug her his Jamaican flag colored letterman jacket levitated in the wind. Then the rain came down on his worn Oakland A’s baseball cap. He smiled with a meth mouth grin and crust around the corners of his mouth. She placed her broken left hand on his left shoulder. And with her less broken right hand nursed a blunt as she offered it to the OA man as a new mother nurses her baby.
I drew closer pretending to look past them and secretly taking them in like a hummingbird delights in nectar. He called her Lucretia, and she laughed a raspy sound. She called him Cesar and thanked him for the three dollars last night. He hoped the cough syrup helped her with her chest cold.
Sitting down on the steps that stare at the jewelry and finger printing fronts across the street on Olive I caught patches of their conversation. Cesar was from Nicaragua. Years of exposure to the richness that is the immigrant community of Pico Union I learned to decipher at least 9 accents and dialects. The raspy lady was from L.A.
The blunt was crushed on the tip and tucked in the hole of her chest. They sat down on a cardboard and took a long look at the day around them. I could tell he sighed as his lips pursed like an old Indian chief portrait at the natural history museum. As she stood up again with her less broken hand she slicked her hat off her head and took off her wig.
“My last daddy hit me with a bat,” was her disclosure as she felt the stitched cut on the left side of her head like braille. Cesar shakes his head and reaches up to hold her hand.
We turn to the west as a swarm of pigeons flap over the playground. The three of us look at each other and smile.
clouds arrive slowly
weeping rain on oily dirt
to plastic flowers
drops falling down hard
junkies fold into their tent
time does not matter
thunder does not strike
on the wheelchairs of the poor
i smile at myself
