time

the beauty of it all

lies in her infinity
born into a simple and unlimited existence

the diamonds in her eyes are as gods to me

so small a creature am i.
she offers the bounty of allness

and the sacredness of truth
but my arms are only capable of meager embrace

flanked on all sides by my humble humanity.

east Psalm

beloved Father
all i’ve known
and You are still
and shut to me

the west claims
me through my
sickened blood and
terms so foreign

i long for You
to open wide and
take me from
this abstract place

so autumn now is
here again and those
who’ve gone i can’t
replace; they were never here

Father of the east
call to me and claim
me as i am with
sullied heart

the broken bones
of battles lost
and smiles tainted
with grief

oh Holy One
in lone direction
let the Kingdom
come at last to me

Berakah to Broadway

my favorite hour is at 3:07 a.m. your ramblers are spent.  the streets are hot with discontent and happiness. your building walls are tired. there is hope and despair. the lights flicker off and off and sometimes on. dear Broadway i love you so. i want to drop dead on your asphalt and sink in forever.  your silent strength feeding and nourishing all staggers of life. days are lived fast upon you. the letters, the pictures, the breaths, the gasps; cultivator of all that. your façade oozing with corporate swag, but your soul, your spirit profound, pure, wild and capricious, like a beautiful woman. i want to roll in your soot, trip on your cracks and see your ghosts who lived in you and of you, my beloved Broadway. speak easy of my dreams, mistress keeper of my veins in your dark little alleys. i love you so  Broadway. i want you all to myself, no man, woman or creature can have you. you are my mother, when no one is willing to be. you are my father when all are too cowardly. you gave me karate movies, 8-tracks and joy. you gave me advice, caution and wisdom. you are my mistress, chancellor of my education and intuitions. you are my eyes into the past that lingers in my most penultimate remembrances as a child falling down by your fire hydrant. to you, who has always been the only one who understands my twistedness and carcinomatous fevers, i write to you fair goddess, keeper of myself. i love you so my beloved Broadway. thank you for keeping me in your implorations.

that one eye of God

peering from the years of worn

  child love fills up the aura

 God has looked upon me

tiny giant’s hands that have built

            epochs and eras of mad love

for life in free range cages

    i now come face to face with me

with a perfect mirror   and my

   fears and crazy  inexpressible

love with madness of fever

     i at long lost have been

          answered

in one single  

        blink

trepidation

blazing to the highest heavens

but how can i measure

i’m ill equipped

i am not God

touching my way on the ground

just like one that lived before

the Psalms were written

i do not know how to swim

out of water

Mohawk street is not the same

the houses are familiar

in the vagueness of my name

teacup roses are all now full of moss

the churches are different

than when i was knee long high

i cried out as silently as i could

is the world changing

or am i

picnic 1975

so he said don’t look up

little darling or your pistachio

eyes will turn to coal

so i said no they won’t

but i did not believe my words

although against logic

i looked up anyway

so can you see stars and lines

or dark dark bubbles on the car

doors my little darling

your eyes are red

no i said so i can keep

looking unbeknown to him

i really wanted to burn

my eyes out to stop the future

from charging me

so listen my petite

devil i cannot let you

look up anymore

so place this hat upon your

head and know that God is always

above you

i know i am beneath

but can i have an orange

oh no no i want a pickle

with pastrami instead

i could not see but i lied

anyway

so you think you’re

hungry? we have food

in the car follow me

but don’t look up and if you’re

good we can roll down the

hill together

i wear my sin like a diamond

i wear my sin like a diamond

please forgive me Son of Man

my soul is running away from me

my spirit has leapt off and is far far away

i wear my sin like a diamond

forgive me

the maggot in the wound brings clarity

at times

frail in discontentment

the argument is lost

i wore my sin like a diamond

as You hung by Your bones

against the cross

the die is in my pocket

my life the corner

where it rolled

i wear my sin like a diamond

my spear in my side

too close to close

forgive me Father

in words that are so true

i roll and roll

the eyes of snakes

i wear my sin like a diamond

rise

today i open my eyes and rise to another day. it’s a special day and i am grateful. so many hours, so many days have come and gone. i am grateful for that too. for in that time frame i have become a little wiser or at least better able to survive. i worry that in the process of survival i will forget to dream. you have always cradled my dreams alameda street. today is extra special with Our Lady Queen of Angels hosting all of the believers who also survive in any way they can. i can afford some day-dreaming and wasting of time, but those days are slowly withering away, eroding like the bricks on your side my Lady. with faith you were risen and from these rocks and clay; from faith i was allowed to be born, but a different path had to be followed so that i might be here right now. had a more popular road been chosen for me, i would not be here with you fair Queen. now in your smog and your electric heat and rules and stop lights, i will faithfully rise again tomorrow and spill out unto the alameda once more.