in a mad house i shoo my heart away

i don’t know why      i stay

in the hope that you will feel

or think in your head to

need me

the yellow of the walls

suffocates me; I get held

down against my will

but it is not yellow

it is           dimness and fear

i see a tender brook out

of my third eye window

and the idea that i could

be free                  is unsettling

for letting you go

means being without

in my head i look into

my eyes and i see empty

inky dread         such a quick sand terror

in the night where did you go

from me

                        madness at all hours

stuns me; soothes me; makes me weep

cruelty beyond           all naturalness

of human spirit

the cell is silent              

the day is        come

the brook is                 muddy