al cruzar espero nunca regresar
ao atravessar espero nunca mais voltar
at the crossing im expecting never to return
al otro lado
memorandum
would it make life easier for you if i said outloud what i’d rather just share with you
would it make you a bigger man if i would publish all of my missteps and ineptitudes
do you deserve to know how much you mean to me the tears i’ve shed the drugs i dared to impress you
do you care about my thoughts my feelings my decrees or what i see around this word
if what you want is to fuck and bolt pretend that there was nothing wrong
if all you want is to get a title of renaissance man a golden plaque with gilded letters and pretty words
that’s not really me i’m now buried in a cold dark life locked in under the headstone you chiseled for me etched with nothing meaningful
the will nots
this is your city filled with pigeons dogs and the likes of you children i have bred wild children of the zodiac keepers moon howlers zoo keepers of your selves
through my gutters there has never been a dainty lady that has crossed i am not bent to subscribe to what chains me daughter here are my children
waste makes haste to a life that is riddled by pain we are strong we are one but we can’t be here forever keep me i am your queen little angels in designer jeans
forever rip roaring renegade chingona silver screen teen dream exalted to the clouds of gasoline el lay dismay you will not subscribe to fantasy when i am right in front of you
kleiner clown
stars twinkle quietly pretty shards of diamonds distorted by millions of eons away from my finger tips
surfing in my mind thinking of my mom Lou Reed starts to rise and my heart falls apart
the bitter melancholy comes in sputters black roses start to wilt
thoughts float about in icy sky line no snow or eastern blocks in California
my mother where did she go where was i left to the mercy of the gravity among the milky way
Klaus Nomi sits in shiny triangle black space to my right singing opera lullabies
the water from my eyes wells up but doesn’t spill instead it boils down to dust which i use to bury myself no more lingering on
reading books of talismans in the pitch of the darkest part of night purple pinks blues and blacks
with the soot from the bottom of my foot i draw a wide smile upon the center of my soul
where in daylight for your pleasure will always be radiant
persuaded
the fusillade below my heart signaled a transformation that i hadn’t planned visions of blood fodder fingers crushing the innocence of flowers all for goodness sake further down the tunnels men bent in half praying to their shrink meanwhile ticker sounds of acreage burning does Herod have a bodyguard and the soup kitchen has run out of toe tags can we breath the breeze of ancient orange one last time before the refugees of peace become the next on your waiting list of morally inclined to do whatever to fit into the culture of the day
ain’t what she used to be
in youth i’d run with a pack of wild dogs now they Netflix it
we’d howl at the day and bark at the sun
night time our turn to wag hell out of the city
where did my vicious rockin’ pack go Xerox Corp CEO famous music boys political party hardies Cheetahs lead dancer girl
tax filers line followers at the DMV mimosas on Sundays and tea with the Queen
no more mashing heads smoking drinking or raging party over here throw up over there look out the cops are coming mates!
Ben Gay’s my friend supporting me as i reach to grasp the Prevagen
my leather and spikes traded for breathable organic fabrics and compression socks
alas my lover’s tats aren’t where they used to be but in between snores and farts he says don’t worry babe neither are your tits
longing
on the shore where it is quiet
the people gone for the night
but only the echo of their laughter
tangled up in the ebb and flow of the tides
the foam crackles on the scrumptious sand
my toes drill into the warmth of your shore
a sensualness seeps through the pores of my skin
because that beautiful he moon above me
with glorious pewter rays of light
directs my memories of you
who are of the universe now
i still stand here alone on earth
walking with the sons of Cain
sentenced to miss you exclusively
the twelve golden stars to weep they must
to bear witness of what the polarities
of our world have done to my anemic heart
this land were my feet don’t touch
tell me please what are my charges
will the grains of sand
who lavish in the waters of rebirth
rebuke our love as well
lady Blue release me
to swim about in your sea
and race my soul toward the last sunset
for Poppa
only at Your lap can i find comfort
advantage
i’m drunk on confusion you see Stockholm syndrome all up inside of me we’ve had a different mix here and there cast multiple rolls only to find myself back at your door i can lie to myself think that i’m strong a bad bitch a winner but i know that i’m wrong for reasons unknown you stabbed me up and i done you wrong we went our own way several times but always united by the love to our life immaturity by my side you took a shot and i had to take five and as time passes by the bitter salt crust seems to fall off i concede your advantage you have my heart
supposing
when i look at you
my heart inches toward a
possibility
words less spoken 