eating my words xiv
She waits for us
no answer is also an answer
🦅 Hopi Proverb
to stare into the blank horizon
it lacks the pastel colors mother used to love
we the silent types proud and self assured cowards or lost fools
makes very little difference
to tighten my jaw as you purse your lips we know what we are thinking
we have no answer for what is happening to us
all we are not willing to admit that She is critical because of our silence
are we prepared for what comes this way as Her pulse tires and slows
the silence without bird songs is the vilest way to perish
blue steel
i’m feelin’ like a blue steel gun
with my fine determined sharp lines
my edges separate the somethin’ from the nothin’
and the come-hither handlin’ parts
sleek momma eye candy deluxe
making genitalia of all denomination shape and size
feel like a super daddy fuckin’ stud
i’m feeling like a blue steel gun
caught between your palm and thumb
a dialysis rig for your bad juice blood
my nuts bolts springs and inner workin’s
the physics and reasons in me aching
of no interest to you your heart or your mind
i’m feelin’ like a blue steel gun
remember in that case where you found me
promises dowries certificated truths
stroking of the barrels looking into soot
my trigger and your raging accusin’ fingers
you offered as my wedding band
i’m feelin’ like a blue steel gun
cast out after years of deeds gone wrong
silent spitting fire of your tongue
looking out my winda’ late at night
wonderin’ why you are the way you are
we chameleons tempering our feelin’s
showcased on a devil’s iron eye
cus we’re both rusted raw on the inside
breaking point haiku
where do butterflies
go when they die on fire
sometimes we burn down
reason
home slightly gray moon shadows of the catsjeweled eyes aglowscent of orange by couchi hesitate and sigh quietly like when i pretended to prayday long hard patches of humanity where tiny flowers growred like blood warm like thunder roars when in your arms i wasbefore waking from that stagnant dreambland counter kitchen clean black red Japanese bowlholding my spaghettioswarm shower awaits ssssshhhhhhheeeeeeeit complains coconut patoulli soup loofah scrub north to souththe sin is rinsed away beloved side of bedmy body you will takeinto uneasy rest
i want to rip my hair out
i’ve seen multiple coroners tents these few weeks white tiny like a fortune teller’s but there are no chances no predictions no suspicions just finality i’ve not felt myself murder being televised 5G capitalized on death’s dealings my smile and gentle nature up on stage demands the talent and strength of an opera singer the gall of most world viewed presidents laying down or standing still mind woodchips all of my plans palms to the sky warm sun light reminds me that there is a God i’ve seen the death of my father dressed in blue he brought down by what he held up all of his life i’ve seen the death of my mother and the sting of unfamiliarity that divided us i alien child no umbilical cord on my feet walking slightly off smell of medicinal debauchery from last night peppers the air snippets sensationalized wishing shards of words empty whirling eddies of promise obscure delicacy is what i want when i want to be alone middle age was always middle age at any point in time imbibed in the yolks of many situations took on the foil as well as the queen as well as the beggar as well as a fiend feeding rats in the alley in the middle of the day with words that mean nothing but carry weight just the same i’ve seen too many coroners tents bottom line no one gives a fuck is the appropriate cause of death on the only certificate some of us will get privilege tells me to take some time trim my cherry tree smell the air inventory what i have and be grateful count the finches outside fighting on the bush that has a doctor and expensive fertilizer i want to tear my hair out at times rage knock over bureaucratic tables like Christ in Jerusalem
footnote beneath the tarpits
insomnia hello
i see you brought thoughts to me
gush into the head
fear primordial
followed me from Eden’s cast
with children untamed
the screaming screens light
canopy of lies oozing
sullying frail life
as you turn away
subtle twilight engulfs me
rebirth awaits there
piggy bank broken haiku
hot lava numbness
sifting sins of our fathers
ain’t got coins to pay
nothing quickly chasing me
swirling lava holy water
smoke eyes turn off
don’t look down up
or to the sides
don’t look in the heart
or speak to the breeze
hear for beats of far off drum
they’re marching inching to the end
maybe for the best
drips drops of pain
pictures of her
inside of him
innocent perhaps
but i’ll never know the truth
so yesterday was i
but understood
i promise you
the wider my smile
the stronger the pain
of where i think i see this going
edged cliff here i go
nothing quickly chasing me
to take a walk
words less spoken 