i love going to the hills
atop Silver Lake
where i can see Hollywood
my home my western shore
my dusty concrete paths
winding with a promise
to all that we are alive
in the City of Illusions
and that life is no illusion after all
paradox is my goddess
and Los Angeles my church
my habit was my pope
and my grit was my curse
perhaps we all strive
to go back home to reconcile
the hemorrhaging broken vein
and that’s all we want
Indeed, it is very rare when I can feel the stillness of my spirit. It is a wild one. It thrives on diving off the highest cliffs of life and relishes the feeling of narrowly avoiding the jagged rocks of human pain below. I feel her today. She sits next to me silently caressing the gold of the elusive clear horizon.
Thoughts of worry flood me every so often. Will the stillness leave us causing my spirit to tear my natural peace a sunder? It has been much too long before I had the courage to go on my own. To walk away from the safety of the rock solid artificial happiness was terrifying. I did not want to wander in the depth of dark waters for so many years more.
the day dream
the news comes and goes
laughing children noises
frame the window to a past
that has no terrible value
perhaps I should leave it to the dawn
The time for the appointment is here. I have made a commitment to go outside today. How I wish I was in Big Sur with him. He loved me how I was, but I didn’t love myself. Do I love myself now, I wonder? I laugh a little. The water hushes me and I smile. His shoulders wide and strong, my disease and madness a little stronger. It’s not that he abandoned me, it’s just that he believed in freedom. I believed that my sickness was an entitlement worth dying for.
indeed it is very rare when i can feel the stillness of my spirit it is a wild one it thrives on diving off the highest cliffs of life and relishes the feeling of narrowly avoiding the jagged rocks of human pain below i feel her today she sits next to me silently caressing the gold of the elusive clear horizon
thoughts of worry flood me every so often will the stillness leave us causing my spirit to tear my natural peace a sunder it has been much too long before i had the courage to go on my own to walk away from the safety of the rock solid artificial happiness was terrifying i did not want to wander in the depth of dark waters for so many years more
the day dream
the news comes and goes
laughing children noises
frame the window to a past
that has no terrible value
perhaps i should leave it to the dawn
the time for the appointment is here i have made a commitment to go outside today how i wish i was in Big Sur with him he loved me how i was but i didn’t love myself do i love myself now wonder i laugh a little the water hushes me and i smile his shoulders wide and strong my disease and madness a little stronger it’s not that he abandoned me it’s just that he believed in freedom i believed that my sickness was an entitlement worth dying for
thank You for my life
with all the painful sorrows
Your light shown me through
i didn’t always know
that life would be
ok
i was never sure
who would be there
but
my understanding of the
workings of the world
would
arrive some day i
guessed a lot at
seven
so i watched the
war planes fly fast
t.v.
kept my heart curious
about how life could
have
been but didn’t quite
happen that way for
me
but i have ten
fingers and ten toes
i
can still walk and
talk although nonsense it
may
be and i can
laugh and sing off
key
and i can find
those old reels of
the
blitzkriegs and still feel
the sadness for the
world
my head those clouds
i somehow knew well
just
a child i was
lost in the luftwaffe
of
life’s adults who were
possibly less well equipped
than
me a little kid
mastering the power to
heal
sun and moon greet and kiss
either side of their cosmic cheeks
today i don’t walk among the people
for romance style gain or art
it took time much of it
even heavy parallels to this universe
of squalor in carnival color
today i’ve come down deep
into the cracks in everything
so said Leonard
i small as i am look inside
the glass now empty the pipes
rigs foils all of it wasted away
in an instant of solemn mystic revolution
soft and quiet in the rancid room
on the corner of this street
sons of man queens and goddess
the stars are coming out
from the ancient rubble
from whence angels and demons fall
to look at me not my disease
i grotesquely beautiful in triumph
i’m over me released myself per se
to the right the ruins of the past
to the left the fragile bridge i’ll tread
across to take upon my care
the tender new i
made even by the equinox of life
lost
today
open sun
smiles a plenty
the kids all playing
innocence not taken
i breathe in the warm feeling
the ducks come near me for some bread
sweet genuine brown eyes smile at me
what does one do when you have won the war
sometimes my convictions are
not enough to soothe
the pain of the
weight of life so
i go into my
closet dig in my
cardboard box where i
keep the rosary i
found in the mud
behind one of the
homes i grew up
water cold serene
then the holy light appears
rebirth i am pure
me gusta caminar de noche
preferible sin la luna
esconderme en mis pensamientos
reír como niña como nunca pude
pensar en dulces y juegos
y olvidar todo lo que fui
eu gosto de andar a noite
preferível sem a lua
esconda-se em meus pensamentos
ria como uma garota como eu nunca pude
pense em doces e jogos
e esquecer tudo o que eu era
i like to walk at night
preferably without the moon
hide in my thoughts
laugh like a little girl like i never could
think of candy and games
and forget everything i was
words sacred
the world
commits fratricide
for and
over you
since the
Breath released
the first
prokaryote upon
Tierra’s face
to serve
as a
guide and
as a
fate to
one and
all souls
you and
i are
one in
kind my
dearest treasure
words less spoken 