Poetry

shoreline

/ mbrazfieldm / 3 Comments

the nutty wafts of kelp breeze

wrap around my body

looking at the waves they crash

the little crabs shake

their tiny pinchers at them

they all just laugh  

their foamy locks behind them

my fingers remind me

that i’m digging in the sand

i smile on my left side

two young lilac gulls screech

over some meaty mussels

my attention zooms in at the ferris wheel

closing my eyes

subtle waves of nauseous panic come

but you’re gone

your arms not there to hold me

your lips can not whisper

your hungry desires in my ear

your wandering finger tips caressing

the nipples on my breasts

as i whispered i want you

we both laughed

the piercings in your lips

they caught my hair

we clasped tattooed hands

the deepness in your voice

only for me

subtle wind moans

only to be cut by youthful laughter

holding my knees

those demons prick at me

your notes didn’t answer my questions

mommy issues

/ mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment

it drips and mingles

marries with the blood

soothsayer to what comes

slashes through the confusion

of the heart ethics

of good and not

so much evil is

her delicious name i

a groupie of her’s

claimed soul punch the

mirror to break the

soul it’s cloaked in

tones of luke warm

vengeance clouded in the

wine and chemicals entwined

don’t need your knife

to stab my back

i can self destruct

in searing pleasure do

you know what love

is i didn’t think

so and words fall

from your corpsely lips

corrupting my intentions to

provide a safety switch

to the runaway train

that is my conscience

rage and anger exotic

sisters of pain and

trickery demons extraordinaire in

the doctrine of auto

annihilation i rebuke myself

turn to junkydom cliff

time out

/ mbrazfieldm / 5 Comments

i’ve made you angry

i question not to judge

not to hold accountable

it’s just self preservation

i refuse to die of a venereal disease

a few months back i had a crush

i cast out my fisher girl’s fly

you nibbled i invited

you ignited a fire that spread too quickly

you an excellently talented lay

me a very willing convenience fuck

from the beginning of the race

my stats were clearly posted

of broad mind and precocious personality

but i only make you angry

when i really don’t mind

if you suck the neighbor’s cock

i’m cool if you want exploration

don’t politicize the situation babe

let me remind you for your record

you came on your own to me

i’ll take the tumble with some protection

a girl needs some stress release too

but don’t give me bullshit excuses

when you know what i’ve been through

i’m crushing on your lustful ways

and the sweetness that you randomly give

when we lock lips and genitals

the gods above do sing

you can get angry at me

for leaving you mid way

i’ll overlook a lot of things

but don’t think that for a second

you’ll have me as your slave

you buy we fry

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my favorite chair

are the sidewalks

those in the 20’s and 30’s

edge of downtown streets

a mix of rustic houses

shacks and alley ways

some with flowers

some with trash

my favorite chair

is not comforting at first

it affords me front row view

to the less palatable aspects

of genteel society

exposed vaginas cocks

twisted tongues

defecation out of

hundreds of orifices

then there’s the strip mall chair

with the upright and honest

vendor my favorite one

is Donicio from Panama

he has a way of telling

funny stories

across from there

is another chair

‘you buy, we fry’

it’s mostly busy

on the sabbath

my eyes their

veils of formal education

lifted and the life of life

exposed to all my senses

there is something thrilling

about hopscotching through

dog shit in a city

that treats us all the same

my favorite chair

in the bars of the people

although people aren’t

what they used to be

my amiga Casimira

has the latest I Phone

when i want to look in to

her deep brown eyes

and have her Oaxacan accent

transport me to another land

especially on jury duty day

to no avail

i lost my friend

to the latest pop up store

at the end of most days

when the journey’s done

i go home to my derelict

dog and two jaded kitties

with caffeine in one hand

Phoebe Ann the cat on my lap

the memories of my rest stops

deposited silently

in the removable data bank

we interrupt this program…

/ mbrazfieldm / 7 Comments

mind twisted and turned out inwardly

heart full of bewilderment

spirit dull cracked in some areas

soul as is no refunds

aware that privilege was not a commodity

we all have our crosses to bear and walls to wail upon

boundless and untethered loyalty to any attention giver

and then the sons of Adam distraught

ended a course of life

at that moment of death and rebirth

spirit began to take shape

the eyes opened the lung breathed

the palm uncurled and the mind sobered

the heart beat lips parted in silence

what do i believe

we are still here the force the pulse

the breath of God

in spite of my will or yours

we are here the ancient brick and mortar

passed through the stream of our common blood

flows in rivers of love cleaning the puddles of blood

tears we have all shed across this world

dating app

/ mbrazfieldm / 20 Comments

the evening dewy with tired city rain

bustling streets hurried people

with other people in their lives

to call their own

to be me my only desire was to be

held by strong warm arms

will you be my protector

watching patrons coming in and out

sipping my sharp pop rock ginger ale

i wondered about nineteen thirty seven

thoughts broken for a second naked man

runs into traffic but he’s o.k.

my eyes sleepy mosey on downward

bei mir bist du schoen

serenade the Andrews Sisters while

women named Hazel with a hyacinth scent

sip their gin rickeys wiping their lipstick off the glass

in the saloon there are men reading the LA Times

yet others share lively union talk

then the sapphire eyed mysterious stranger

raven jet hair and a dead maus t shirt

taps me on my gothic shoulder Mary Pickford’s

angels wink at me as they slid off my left shoulder

as he sits down elegant right index finger half raised

signaling the hyperactive bar keep

from the antique flowered gold foil wall paper

Ingrid and Bogey nod at me

and i whisper at old sapphire in a sultry sigh

here’s looking at you kid

la cita

/ mbrazfieldm / 9 Comments

es muy temprano

son las cuatro

de la mañana

y las sombras

que caen afuera

hablan cosas de

mi vida y

no puedo respirar

me dicen que

usted dr. azul

es cardiólogo superior

y que me puede

diagnosticar y dar un beso

en las estrellas marinas

y que todo mi sufrimiento

se ahoga en el olvido

de las sirenas vestidas

en oro y plata

doctor cardiólogo

yo hago muchas preguntas

usted no sería el primero

en decir no puedo contestar

lo que necesita saber mujer

en unas horas estaré completamente

azul y gris con pena y el corazón

se desangra porque ya no puede mas

en su opinión cual es mi prognosis

señor doctor del corazón

lo tengo ya muy quebrado

hare mis planes finales

le acepto su beso

y buscare que los ángeles

negros me vengan a llevar

o encontro

é muito cedo

são às quatro

da manhã

e as sombras

que caem do lado de fora

eles falam sobre

minha vida e

não posso respirar

eles me dizem isso

você dr. azul

ele é um cardiologista superior

e o que você pode

diagnosticar e beijar

nas estrelas do mar

e que todo o meu sofrimento

afoga-se no esquecimento

das sereias vestidas

em ouro e prata

médico cardiologista

Eu faço muitas perguntas

você não seria o primeiro

em dizer que não posso responder

o que você precisa conhecer mulher

Dentro de algumas horas estarei completamente

azul e cinza com dor e coração

ele sangra porque ele não aguenta mais

na sua opinião qual é o meu prognóstico

senhor médico do coração

Eu já o tenho quebrado

Vou fazer meus planos finais

Eu aceito seu beijo

e vou procurar anjos

negros vêm para me levar

the appointment

it’s very early

it’s four o’clock

in the morning

and the shadows

that fall outside

they talk about

my life and

i can’t breathe

they tell me that

you dr. blue

are a superior cardiologist

and that you can

diagnose and kiss it away

in the stars by the sea

all of my suffering

drowns in oblivion

witnessed by mermaids dressed

in gold and silver

cardiologist doctor sir

i ask many questions

you would not be the first

in saying i can’t answer

what you need to know woman

in a few hours i will be completely

blue and gray with grief and a heart

that bleeds because it can’t take it anymore

in your opinion what is my prognosis

mr. heart doctor

it’s already broken

i will make my final plans

i’ll accept your kiss

and i will wait for the black angels

who come to take me

Photo mbrazfield 2019

teufelshund

/ mbrazfieldm / 18 Comments

time has passed by here

i pan the room i see my books

my drawings and the vibrant colors

the outfits different styles

yet mostly all black

the sleeves must remain long

security blanket still after all these years

the incense stretches smoldering in the potted plant

in Garudasana pose Cedar wood and salt

invasive thoughts seep through the fragile lucidity

of this quiet uneasiness the price i’ve had to pay

i shut my eyes i don’t trust closing them yet

at times boot camp trainings thrice removed

refuse to be shrugged off

i look in the mirror morning and night

brush the teeth etc. etc.

but today i’m feeling brave on an anniversary

of yore the battle of Werdin Place

and i see me in the mirror

piece by piece like a color by number pic

as the nights pass by hand in hand

i’m smitten with and embrace more

the medal shaped sCARs they gave me

of warrior heart i fought and fought

and that’s all that really matters

happy

/ mbrazfieldm / 11 Comments

sometimes in the middle of the night

i take the train from one part of town

and then back to the other side

i can’t sleep so i face my curiosity

tipping into the cleavage of the city

and her girlfriend moon

outside of the rolling cab my eyes

they register that it’s dirty

i swear i can see the car exhaust

black sooty pungent belching vulgarity

in the lungs of LA

behold the automotive crack pipe

then my attention flutters to the men

velvet skin plastic smiles and silver tongues

selling me a piece of Jesus and His hotrod

Hollywood Boulevard how much to eat me tonight

i burrow my alien feelings into the tunnels

and the cocky rail rides me to the platform

where humanity scrambles at the truth

of how small we must be to the Bitchgoddess

of everything all poets in history

have lamented about

to chase and purr on the formidable

lies that we are fed

only to show who kindness i wonder

i’m too old and out of time

to place gender or definition on my pleasures

the time to gamble with the rules and regulations

is quickly ending

at dawn pink and gray

with the smell of the city and

her beautifully cruel courtesans

on my hands and lips

i stagger up 7th street

and bum a cigarette from the Meals on Wheels guy

chat up Bang Me Billy and ask about his truck

we stroll to the rich folk Starbucks

he waltzes me up to the lines

we both feel very alive again

and smile at the young savvy people

when they turn up their nose

advice i’d give me if i was my mother

/ mbrazfieldm / 18 Comments

go ahead eat the three cup cakes

jay walk across the mischievous waters

buy Big Mac’s for the street kids

ask the hookers for beauty tips

church hop if the Spirit insists

wrap your thighs around whichever boy you wish

on your terms and not his

go against the family tradition

ride the Ducati instead of the Harley

crank up Led’s Black Dog as you’re lighting a fatty

stay home and read books and howl at the moon

at 3:30 past doom if that’s what makes you happy

talk about the Bard by the water cooler

turn the page when you’ve mastered your spirit

nurture your brain and balance that heart

if you punch punch with your left

but remember they got to swing at you first

if you look wicked good don’t hide it

and every compliment offered to the sisterhood

should come from the heart

don’t disrespect tit for tat the brotherhood

flash them your smile as you’re crushing that Zen