Aaron

/ mbrazfieldm / 1 Comment

when our palms met

that balmy Chinatown night

a little lost canary

from the corner pet shop

sang a melancholic cord

switching his little face

from right to left

he looked at me

and flew away

i had fallen in love

the kind of love

that makes you scrutinize

your breath your weight and even your thoughts

the kind where

you leave your beloved

friends pets and dishes

behind just to think about him

the kind of love

that makes you check your phone

fifty times at two in the morning

you know the kind you lose

your soul to in the encasing darkness

and nothing feels the same

distilled death and i churn my spirit

but you danced with me

for a few years

you are no longer Aaron

i am no longer me

i don’t recognize my smile

its erased forever in your cusp

my heart has melted away in your hypocrisy

my common sense buried under your peach tree

and Aaron he no longer lives here

and i don’t recognize

the song of the canary anymore

wish

/ mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

i cant go to the hospital now ive got to come down its just that he made me so mad why do i do this to myself ive got to replace the mirror God im out of control i have an exam tomorrow maybe if i sleep but the blood isn’t stopping if i curl up by the toilet i might not wake up ive got to wait and come down the ceiling is cotton candy lies my skin floats like a lily pad he’s right but why does he cheat he should just leave but we need each other i need to lay down he hurts me so bad just like my mother i feel most alive in pain without it i don’t feel im dead but this isn’t right maybe church but they would judge me i need help the blood is finally clotting i don’t like how i look his other woman looks like the magazine girls im not worth all of this but i have some pride he knows ive never sucked any dick for my junk i don’t think our society circle can say the same for him no they are good people to me at least they listen and were all lost together i wish this was a dream i wish i was real i wish i could disappear how do i do this maybe im just a salty little cunt ok i broke the mirror because i don’t like what i see im not ready to say where it all began i don’t know if i will ever be Lord im walking through the valley of the blackest shadows i hear the laments of others too i cant feel you anymore Rabbi

soy la pesadilla

/ mbrazfieldm / 2 Comments

nos guste o no

así soy

así naci

así me he desarrollado

salvaje en la ciudad

una mona sin fronteras

peleando con cualquiera

pero con mucho corazón

te invito a que me juzgues

sin pena

que me odies

y mi insultes

no me cambiara

y cuando los que más amaba

me entrenaron como un huracán

lo que ustedes me puedan lanzar es inútil

mis ojos son ciegos

no miro color nación tipo de sangre

no miro religión nivel de educación

ni con quien te acuestas

no miro si eres cruel ignorante narcisista

y claro para que mentir todos juzgamos

pero la diferencia entre yo y tu es que

yo proceso con mi corazón te dejo o te tomo

si tienes sed te ofrezco agua

si estas desalojado aquí está mi tierra

si tienes hambre te doy todo mi pan

si tienes frio te doy mi ropa

si estas sufriendo yo sufro contigo

si me golpeas me muero de risa

si me humillas te doy mi sonrisa

si me traicionas te extiendo mi alma

pero hermano con excepción

si quieres lastimar a un niño o al anciano

al que no puede defenderse o regresar la punada

con mi ira te vas a encontrar

no tengo opinión sobre política

las leyes existen

el orden existe

libertad condicional

pero nunca me pudiste

controlar y menos amargar

así soy yo

te dedico con amor y franqueza

todo lo que soy

a tus pies nunca me esperes

pero mi mano aquí esta

yo sé lo que soy

soy menos que nada

y el día en que necesites

aquí estaré lista para amar o luchar 






eu sou o pesadelo





goste ou não





sou assim





então eu nasci





foi assim que eu desenvolvi





selvagem na cidade





um macaco sem fronteiras





lutando com qualquer um





mas com muito coração





eu convido você a me julgar





sim pena





que você me odeia





e meus insultos





eu não vou mudar





e quando ele amou o mais





eles me treinaram como um furacão





o que você pode jogar em mim é inútil





meus olhos estão cegos





eu não olho tipo nação cor de sangue





eu não olho religião nível de educação





nem com quem você dorme





eu não olho se você é um narcisista cruel ignorante





e, claro, para nós mentirmos todos nós julgamos





mas a diferença entre eu e você é que





eu procuro com meu coração eu te deixo ou te levo





se você está com sede eu te ofereço água





se você é despejado aqui é minha terra





se você está com fome eu te dou todo o meu pão





se você está com frio eu te dou minhas roupas





se você está sofrendo eu sofro com você





se você me bater eu vou morrer de rir





se você me humilhar eu te dou meu sorriso





se você me trair eu estendo minha alma





mas irmão com exceção





se você quer machucar uma criança ou os idosos





quem não pode se defender ou devolver a punada





com a minha raiva você vai encontrar





eu não tenho opinião sobre política





as leis existem





a ordem existe





liberdade condicional





mas você nunca conseguiu





controle e menos amargo





eu sou assim





eu te dedico com amor e franqueza





tudo que eu sou





nunca espere por mim a seus pés





mas minha mão aqui é





eu sei o que sou





eu sou menos que nada





e o dia que você precisa





aqui estarei





pronto para amar ou lutar





i am the nightmare





like it or not





so i was born





here i am





this is how i developed





wild in the city





a monkey without borders





fighting with anyone





but with a lot of heart





i invite you to judge me





without shame





i know that you hate me





and insults





will not change me





and when those who i loved the most





trained me like a hurricane





so what you throw at me is useless





my eyes are blind





i do not see color nation or type of blood





i do not see religion or level of education





nor with whom you sleep





i do not see if you’re cruel ignorant or narcissist





and of course we all judge





but the difference between me and you is that





i process with my heart i leave you or i take you





if you are thirsty i offer you water





if you are evicted here is my land





if you are hungry i give you my bread





if you are cold i give you my clothes





if you are suffering i suffer with you





if you hit me i’ll die of laughter





if you humiliate me i’ll give you my smile





if you betray me i’ll extend my soul to you





but brother the exception





if you want to hurt a child or the aged





who can’t defend themselves or return the punch





to my anger you’ll respond 





i have no opinion on politics





the laws exist





the order exists





conditional freedom





but you never could





control me or make me bitter





that’s how i am





i dedicate to you with love and honesty





everything i am





never wait for me 





to fall at your feet





but here is my hand





i know what i am





i am less than nothing





and the day you need





i’ll be here





ready to love or fight





			

	


			
				
				


	

							
Beautiful Little Girl
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / Leave a comment
								

			


		

		








to all my sisters and brothers with much love thank you Precious ❤










Precious's avatarThe Brink of Insanity






Hey lovely bloggers😊. Let me share a lil bit of my personal experience with you all. Twas fun writing this and I hope it helps someone out there 😉


Happy reading 😁


Growing up I was labeled as ugly because of my beautiful dark skin and nappy hair. Beautiful was something else but definitely not my skin color and myself. So I started having self esteem issue, self hatred and low self confidence. I often wanted to change myself into something that woul fit their description of beauty but I couldn’t change who I was.


Beautiful was that light skinned girl with long straight hair and a thin figure. Something I was absolutely not.


Growing up I realised that what I was exposed to when I was little somehow affected how I see myself and that’s sad really. When someone would tell me that I’m beautiful I’d have that voice…




View original post 229 more words





			

	


			
				
				


	

							
indications and usage
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / 2 Comments
								

			


		

		

its not the lining of the heart or the medulla that is swollen it is pain of the spirit anger at the lot resentment at the lack of fairness and extreme abhorrence of the violence in my orbit of which you know that i know i cant fly its just wishful thinking a survival mechanism from a childhood taken so there is absolutely no need to pathologize my just being human i understand youre just the man with the accreditation and i can get that my other man under the bridges of my nation is working on the fly both bringing me the holy candy to take the edge away of the inevitable lesson of having to turn the other cheek but due to heavy handed legal messes summoned by the maternal book of ancient testament coming in direct conflict with the law of teeth for teeth coupled with Eve and Adam’s eye disease i bear the mark of all mankind and gift of favorite sons free will is not for you to harvest in the laboratories of supply at no discount price for first time users

			

	


			
				
				


	

							
just the flu
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / 2 Comments
								

			


		

		

the
magic leaves sanity a sacrifice ill pay for it tomorrow you gotta get some help
tidal waves before me the river banks have failed screaming angels in a rage
the faces flashing in the night i look for her and i cant find her sweet warm jello
fingers pushing buttons to the elevator going up can you smell the gardenias
wilting beeping and the blinking of the medical equipment sent
tiny shocks of stress directly to the head the only way to soothe myself after
a stressful situation  was to savor the
sensation of my eyes rolling to the back of my third eye it started with strained
nerves and jittery eyelids tiny tear drops oozing from the corners and then the
dark flowing through pin-hole relief of my private world painted with French
carnival colors golds were greens reds that were milky blood pink old ship
ropes and Macaque monkeys like the ones in Tangiers i remember while riding on
the ambulance that late summer night

			

	


			
				
				


	

							
Seth 3: Christina’s rebuke
						

			 / mbrazfieldm						 / 5 Comments
								

			


		

		

Picture courtesy of Sue Vincent

 





the road she is cruel and with little respite





but i made it to Your house 





with the help of Ruach Elohim





i can raise my knuckles to Your door





and knock to be let in





YWHW this is your daughter





the mother of the boy 





who is now in your eternal care





i see his hands and eyes and smile





in the wild flowers waltzing on the ground





i traversed the firmament all this way





for You to look me in the face





and give me a reason 





because i’m only Your daughter





and i don’t know anymore





did You give Abraham his bosom 





from these stones that hold Your strength





my bosom is torn wide apart





forsaken forgotten and in pain





the glimmer in the joy of light





that showers Your front steps





no longer bring me comfort 





YHWH 





You and i know what love can be





we both sent our sons 





unto the world of man





but only Your’s came back